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A Funny Quotes

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
- Scott Adams

Change is a funny thing. We never are quite sure what we are becoming or even why. Then one day we look at ourselves and wonder who we are and how we got that way. Only one thing about change remains constant...it is always painful
- Jodi Picoult

I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.
- Jason Alexander

You know, it's a funny thing. The only Romance language Felipe doesn't happen to speak is Italian. But I go ahead and say it to him anyway, just as we're about to jump.
I say: 'Attraversiamo.'
Let's cross over.
- Elizabeth Gilbert

Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown.
- Fanny Brice

A politician is a politician whether he's wearing a suit or a funny hat.
- Reza Aslan

Memory is a funny thing. It tricks you into believing that you've forgotten important moments, and then when you're raking your brain for a bit of information that might make sense of something else, it taps you on the head and says, Remember when you told me to put that memory in the green rubbish bin? Well, I didn't, I put it in the black recycling tub, and it's coming your way again.
- Melina Marchetta

Hush up, minx. You're a funny one, but you're certainly more likable than unlikable.
- Julia Quinn

Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in.
- Hank Azaria

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain.
- Rick Baker

What a funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell
what o'clock it is!'
'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?'
'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it stays the same year for such a long time together.'
'Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.
- Lewis Carroll

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things."
"But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
- Lemony Snicket

I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.
- Marion Berry

And Talon did not understand no, strike that, he didn't want to understand why seeing Hawk and Roadkill together gave him a funny ache in the pit of his stomach. Every time he looked at Flit, the ache got worse.
He needed to get laid.
- Aggy Bird

Usually, impersonations come out of something you dig, because you're listening to it over and over. And you kind of start developing... You're really trying to emulate them, then you realize, 'I sound ridiculous doing this. Oh, hey, maybe this is a funny impersonation.'
- Alex Borstein

For about four years, I've been telling people I hate sour cream. One time I sent back nachos because they had sour cream on them. I started saying this because a friend I admire hates sour cream. I told him I hated it too so we could have a funny thing in common.
- Megan Boyle

It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness.
- Danny Boyle

One of the lambs fixed its attention on Jared. "Baa," it flirted.
"Boo," said Jared.
"Oh my God, Jared. Don't tough-talk the lambs."
"It was giving me a funny look.
- Sarah Rees Brennan

I love the part of Hector as it takes me back to playing eccentric parts. He is a funny character, which is fine by me as I've been playing for laughs for decades now! It's lovely to get a laugh; it's the best thing in the world!
- Richard Briers

I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time's chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred.
- Harold Brodkey

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
- Robert Frost

She wished she could talk as he did. His speech was so quick and easy. It sounded as if he liked her and was not the least afraid she would not like him, though he was only a common moor boy, in patched clothes and with a funny face and a rough, rusty-red head.
- Frances Hodgson Burnett

It's a funny thing - when I'm crazed with work, spending time with my children relaxes me. Yet, at the end of a long weekend with them, the very thing I need to relax is a little work and time away from them!
- Emily Giffin

There's a story everywhere. Being bored to death someplace is basically a funny proposition. What you have to watch out for is you don't write a boring story about a boring place.
- Tim Cahill

He had on a funny T-shirt, as usual. Today's featured acartoon figure running from a giant T. rex, and it read EXERCISE: SOME MOTIVATIONREQUIRED.
- Rachel Caine

It's a funny thing about love: you don't need to have it returned to love somebody. Loving's enough. -- A Prologue to Love
- Taylor Caldwell

What we want most is only to be held...and told...that everything (everything is a funny thing, is baby milk and Papa's eyes, is roaring logs on a cold morning, is hoot-owls and the boy who makes you cry after school, is Mama's long hair, is being afraid, and twisted faces on the bedroom wall)...everything is going to be all right.
- Truman Capote

What we want most is to be held...and told..that everything (everything is a funny thing, is baby milk and papa's eyes, is roaring logs on a cold morning, is hoot owls and the boy who makes you cry after school, is mama's long hair, is being afraid and twisted faces on the bedroom wall)...is going to be alright.
- Truman Capote

I don't need to convince anybody that I know kung fu, but maybe somebody needs to know that I really can act, without doing a Chinese accent or a funny walk.
- David Carradine

Oh, Professor Lyall, are you making a funny? It doesn't suit you."
The sandy-haired Beta gave Lady Maccon a dour look. "I am exploring new personality avenues."
"Well, stop it."
"Yes, my lady.
- Gail Carriger

When I left Merle was wearing a bungalow apron and rolling pie crust. She came to the door wiping her hands on the apron and kissed me on the mouth and began to cry and ran back into the house, leaving the doorway empty I had a funny feeling as I saw the house disappear, as though I had written a poem and it was very good and I had lost it and would never remember it again. (p. 262)
- Raymond Chandler

I had a funny feeling as I saw the house disappear, as though I had written a poem and it was very good and I had lost it and would never remember it again.
- Raymond Chandler

And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it.
- Stephen King

But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie.
- Thomas Haden Church

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.
- Brian P Cleary

The name fuse followed me from the book to the screenplay, and now I have to live with the name, which I chose in 30 seconds with no thought about how it might sound or what it might imply. It was just a funny thing.
- Diablo Cody

You didn't take part, Benjamin?" Gunther asked, as he passed me a plate of cheese and cold meat.
"My brother doesn't play games," said Paul. "He's an aesthete. He sat by the window all afternoon with a funny look on his face: probably composing a tone poem.
- Jonathan Coe

It's a funny thing because you look at the careers of other filmmakers, and you see them sort of slow down, and you realize, maybe this becomes harder to do as you get older. That's sort of a cautionary thing. I hope it doesn't happen to me.
- Joel Coen

I've never really understood that. It's a funny thing; people sometimes accuse us of condescending to our characters somehow-that to me is kind of inexplicable.
- Joel Coen

Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folk; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle when they tried to think. In a funny sort of way, they were much better at it.
- Terry Pratchett

And if I vas to point at a castle on a towering crag and say 'Yonder is...zer castle' a volf would be bound to howl mournfully. In zer old country, zer scenery is psychotropic and knows vot is expected of it. Here, alas, people just look at you in a funny vay.
- Terry Pratchett

Veil, you see, if I vas to say something portentous like "zer dark eyes of zer mind" back home in Uberwald, zer would be a sudden crash of thunder,' said Otto. 'And if I vas to point at a castle on a towering crag and say "Yonder is... zer castle" a volf would be bound to howl mournfully.' He sighed. 'In zer old country, zer scenery is psychotropic and knows vot is expected of it. Here, alas, people just look at you in a funny vay.
- Terry Pratchett

A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.
- Barbara Corcoran

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
- Quentin Crisp

It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
- Roald Dahl

I have a friend who is a funny cook. Her food tastes funny and smells funny
- Haresh Daswani

What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there.
- Keith David

For me, the release was a spot in time with no past and no future. Just the extraordinary simplicity of a moment the kind of moment that has a funny way of making a person believe that life and love can last forever.
- Tiffanie Debartolo

She's just playing a trick on us. This is just an Alaska Young Prank Extraordinaire. It's Alaska being Alaska, funny and playful and not knowing when or how to put on the brakes.
- John Green

Que je croie. Que tu croies. Qu'il ou qu'elle croie. She said it over and over, like it wasn't a verb so much as a a Buddhist mantra. Que je croie. Que tu croies. Qu'il ou qu'elle croie. What a funny thing to say over and over again: I would believe; you would believe; he or she would believe. Believe what? I thought, and right then, the rain came.
- John Green

It's a funny feeling, being suddenly airborne. Just as you realize it, it's over, and you're sinking.
- Sarah Dessen

It had seemed a funny story as she told it, both that morning by the waterfall and later at dinner, when she repeated it to the photographer and the agency man and the fashion coordinator for the client. Maria tried now to put what happened in Encino into the same spirited perspective, but Ceci Delano's situation seemed not to apply. In the end it was just a New York story.
- Joan Didion

If I didn't have my parents to think about I'd have given in my notice a long time ago, I'd have gone up to the boss and told him just what I think, tell him everything I would, let him know just what I feel. He'd fall right off his desk! And it's a funny sort of business to be sitting up there at your desk, talking down at your subordinates from up there, especially when you have to go right up close because the boss is hard of hearing.
- Franz Kafka

That was a funny thing about friends, Marylin thought. You could know a person practically your whole life and she could still surprise you.
- Frances O Roark Dowell

I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny.
- Rachel Dratch

If you have an impulse, not if you're going to ruin someone elses' scene, if you have an impulse of a funny little add-on or taking something in a weird direction, try it.
- Rachel Dratch

My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head.
- Karen Duffy

I never thought of myself as like, a funny person.
- Lena Dunham

When I'm with my friends I'm funny, but I don't feel like I'm a funny clown.
- Nora Dunn

I wish I had a funny story.
- Leslie Easterbrook

We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.
- Sheena Easton

Forgiveness is a funny thing. We act like it has to be earned, as if there are a certain number of hoops someone can jump through to make us forget that they hurt us. But forgiveness can't be earned! It can only be given freely, as a gift!
- Louisa Edwards

I've played villains on stage - you know, the Iagos and so on - but I think of myself as a funny person. I mostly did comedies before I did TV work.
- Michael Emerson

It's a funny old world.
- Margaret Thatcher

You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.
- Eminem

I know from the middle distance I give off the look of being prolific, which is a funny compliment to receive.
- Joseph Epstein

Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents.
- Roger Federer

Many Canadian nationalists harbour the bizarre fear that should we ever reject royalty, we would instantly mutate into Americans, as though the Canadian sense of self is so frail and delicate a bud, that the only thing stopping it from being swallowed whole by the US is an English lady in a funny hat.
- Will Ferguson

You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar!
- Tina Fey

I think the pattern of my essays is, A funny thing happened to me on my way through Finnegans Wake.
- Leslie Fiedler

Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation, and he isn't yet historical.
- Leslie Fiedler

I feel there's a funny little hole in me that wasn't there before, like a splinter in your finger, but this is somewhere above my stomach.
- Louise Fitzhugh

You know, it's a funny thing about writers. Most people don't stop to think of books being written by people much like themselves. They think that writers are all dead long ago--they don't expect to meet them in the street or out shopping. They know their stories but not their names, and certainly not their faces. And most writers like it that way.
- Cornelia Funke

Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.
- Neil Gaiman

You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no?
- H R Giger

Why can't I be admitted to the... bosom of the operation?" I leaned toward him but almost started to laugh because "bosom" was such a funny word and my innuendo was more Tina Fey than Angelina Jolie.
- Claire Gillian

It's a funny thing, how much time we spend planning our lives. We so convince ourselves of what we want to do, that sometimes we don't see what we're meant to do.
- Susan Gregg Gilmore

Dying has a funny way of making you see people, the living and the dead, a little differently. Maybe that's just part of the grieving, or maybe the dead stand there and open our eyes a bit wider.
- Susan Gregg Gilmore

The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.
- Nikolai Gogol

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.
- Zane Grey

It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more.
- Matt Groening

At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.'
- Tom Hanks

I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.
- Maggie Smith

We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate, you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that.
- Ethan Hawke

It's a funny place, this world. Hate has rights. Love has none.
- Torey Hayden

He's a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don't think it was an accident he let me find out how the Mirror worked. It's almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could..
- J K Rowling

I'm never wearing them," Ron was saying stubbornly. "Never."
"Fine," snapped Mrs.Weasley. "Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh."
She left the room, slamming the door behind her. There was a funny spluttering noise from behind them. Pigwidgeon was choking on an overlarge owl treat.
"Why is everything I own rubbish?" said Ron furiously, striding across the room to unstick Pigwidgeons's beak.
- J K Rowling

Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do.
- Dana Hill

Pride is a funny thing; it can make what is truly worthless appear to be a treasure.
- Alice Hoffman

It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing.
- Zora Neale Hurston

A funny little literary article in the hand is worth at least three Critiques of Pure Reason in the bush.
- Aldous Huxley

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week.
- Eric Idle

It wouldn't have been surprising if the girl suddenly stamped her foot and began: "Comrades! Allow me to summarize the achievements which... ," and so forth, because we have exemplary children who can make two-hour speeches with forlorn diligence. But the Young Pioneer from Roaring Springs took the bull by the horns with her little hands and belted out, in a funny, high-pitched voice: "Long live the Five-Year Plan!
- Ilya Ilf

People are not two-thirds one thing and the remainder something else. Temperament, personality, or outlook don't divide quite like that. The bits don't separate clearly. You end up a funny homogeneous mixture. This is something that will become more common in the latter part of the centurypeople with mixed cultural backgrounds, and mixed racial backgrounds. That's the way the world is going.
- Kazuo Ishiguro

It's a funny thing about bogs. You can fill them with rocks and sand and old logs and make a little fenced-in yard on top with a woodpile and chopping block - but bogs go right on behaving like bogs. Early in the spring they breathe ice and make their own mist, in remembrance of the time when they had black water and their own sedge blossoming untouched.
- Tove Jansson

Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works.
- Steve Jobs

But this show reminds me that there are other aspects to me besides the fact that I'm a funny chick.
- Kristen Johnston

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.
- Angelina Jolie

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.
- Angelina Jolie

If I had a funny thought and a runny nose, but only had one napkin and no paper, I'd rather use that napkin to write on than blow my nose. After all, that's what sleeves are for.
- Jarod Kintz

I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, "Believe in yourself," with an accompanying image of a wilting flower.
- Jarod Kintz

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.
- Ken Kesey

It's a funny thing about me. I don't have any interest in food most of the time now, although when I was a kid I was always hungry.
- Alan Ladd

It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
- Fran Lebowitz

Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies.
- Nigella Lawson

And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up.
- Nigella Lawson

Aslan? Who dares to speak of Aslan?" The White Witch jumped from her sledge, and began arguing violently with the empty chair. "Now look here, you big Lion you! We're tired of you telling us hags and ogres what to do. What's that? You say you want to help the poor, the hungry? Well, we don't care! You're strange and evil -- and you have a funny sounding name!"
"Who is she talking to?" Edmund whispered.
"I don't know," Lucy replied. "There's no one there!
- C S Lewis

Thing is, I'm a funny actor, but I'm not good at being funny. I'm going to ramble for a second: I'm an actor who can make things funny in the moment, like in stakes or in circumstances or out of character.
- Matthew Lillard

But a funny thing happened four years later. I was invited to play for an alumni team against the Red Wings.
- Ted Lindsay

It's a funny thing, but today the Titanic is probably much more - that is people are much more aware of it than they were in 1954, when I was doing my research.
- Walter Lord

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
- Norm Macdonald

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
- Demetri Martin

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
- W Somerset Maugham

It's a funny business. I kind of compare it to baseball. I'm always looking for a home run.
- Billy Mays

I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest. I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh.
- Jenny Mccarthy

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
- Reba Mcentire

I've noticed a funny thing about people who are over-weight. They spend all their time thinking about food -except when they're actually eating it
- Paul Mckenna

I never say a funny thing intentionally.
- Jayne Meadows

Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names.
- Shigeru Miyamoto

I doubt she likes the idea of seeing him put back in a cage." "Maybe not," he said. "But she knows that the Authority are the only people who might be able to help him." "Or kill him," I said. "That too. What is life without risk?" "Long?" Terric laughed, a sort of high whooping that made meand Zayvion, much to my surprisesmile. Contagious. For all he had a serious exterior, Terric was the guy you'd want to sit next to at a funny movie, just to hear him laugh.
- Devon Monk

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up In your face
- Alanis Morissette

I consider myself very lucky. God has a funny way of bringing some things around and knocking you in the head with the ultimate destination. Something I should have achieved quite easily took me a long time to get around to. It came in His time, not mine.
- Jim Morris

It's a funny thing, character, the way it brands people as they age, rising from within to leave its scar.
- Kate Morton

I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around.
- Olivia Munn

One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself.
- Bill Murray

Commitment is a funny thing, you know? It's almost like getting a tatoo. You think and you think and you think and you think before you get one. And once you get one, it's stick to you hard and deep.
- Ika Natassa

Here's a funny question:
What is your favorite word?
Think about itmaybe it's a word that makes you absolutely happy, or a word that sounds gloriously beautiful, or a word that evokes awe and wonder. Maybe you are reminded of a great time when you hear it, or maybe it represents your life's dream.
So, what is it? What is your favorite word of all words?
Thought about it yet?
Good.
And now, think why.
- Vera Nazarian

I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.
- Bob Newhart

Your last letter made me laugh so much, Em, but you should still get out of there because while it's good for gags it's definitely bad for your soul. You can't throw years of your life away because it makes a funny anecdote.
- David Nicholls

You can't throw away years of your life because it makes a funny anecdote.
- David Nicholls

People just don't laugh when their family is violated, and you don't shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It's a funny, primitive instinct.
- Phillip Noyce

I think of myself as a funny guy but nobody thinks I'm funnier than my daughters.
- Jerry Oconnell

I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself.
- Shaquille Oneal

It was all very strange, Mr. Gray thought, as he wiped the coffee canister clean with a sponge. Very, very mysterious. You were born; you lived a whole life; and at the end, you wound up in a coffee canister.
"Ah, well," he said out loud quietly. "That's just the way things are. Life's a funny business." Death, he supposed, was the punch line.
- Lauren Oliver

Fame is a funny thing, like a secret, both are hard to keep.
- Richard Peck

Grief is a funny thing because you don't have to carry it with you for the rest of your life. After a bit you set it down by the roadside and walk on and leave it.
- Rosamunde Pilcher

Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something.
- Michael Pollan

Time has a funny way of airbrushing relationships, removing all the things that were wrong so when you look back it looks much better than it really was.
- Alexandra Potter

I mean I've seen 3D films so far and I think it's a long way to go before they replace actors. It's a funny thing with 3D, I haven't quite got it yet. Yet.
- Daniel Radcliffe

I grew up in a funny way.
- Gordon Ramsay

Is your butt buzzing?
Cole, you have the worst timing! I jerked upright, tring to pull my phone out of my pocket and managing instead to bang my elbow against the wall.
Ow! Oh, shit that hurts! You know, the guy who decided it should be a funny bone was just a freaking masochist. Or is it a sadist? I always get those mixed up.
- Jennifer Rardin

If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain.
- Jimmy Reed

A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.
- Carl Reiner

A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it.
- Ivan Reitman

Sam laughed, a funny, self-deprecating laugh. "You did read a lot. And spent too much time just inside the kitchen window, where I couldn't see you very well."
"And not enough time mostly naked in front of my bedroom window?" I teased.
Sam turned bright red. "That," he said, "is so not the point of this conversation.
- Maggie Stiefvater

You know I'm an actress, not just a funny lady.
- Doris Roberts

I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny.
- Maya Rudolph

The girl has a funny way of romanticizing things.
- Karen Russell

I'm a sucker for a funny script. And then, as soon as I don't wanna be, one comes along and grabs me.
- Meg Ryan

A funny thing happened on the way to the election - I got to the Senate first.
- Pierre Salinger

In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They're short, they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article.
- Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg

I'm known as a kind of dramatic, serious, almost humorless actor and the fact is, I'm a funny guy, and I spend most of my life trying to find a lighter side of things, and on stage was given plenty of opportunity to do that.
- Campbell Scott

I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel I'm the best at doing.
- Seann William Scott

A funny yet interesting read, Will Self knowa his stuff and must do a lot of deep research.
- Will Self

I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families.
- Maria Shriver

All directors are control freaks and very obsessive. I get the feeling that directors as kids, they all have had a childhood with not too much contact with other kids. They constructed their own reality and they continue to do it. It's a funny breed, directors.
- Stellan Skarsgard

You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck.
- Bubba Smith

I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.
- Gertrude Stein

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House.
- Adlai E Stevenson

Ambition is a funny thing. It's like being a Trekkie in that if you admit to it, those around you are mock supportive of your confidence but are quick to call you a loser behind your back.
Or maybe that's the opposite of being a Trekkie.
- Christy Leigh Stewart

Michael is a funny character, for whom I have a great deal of affection. He sat across his desk and seemed to be a bit of a blunt fellow. We began talking about the characters and he opened up about his vision.
- Madeleine Stowe

Like the garlic mustard in my garden and the roses on my fence, love has a funny way of blooming after years of being buried.
- Sarah Strohmeyer

Love's a funny thing, especially with a man who gets paid to put junk in other people's slots. (The Mail Man)
- Andrew Sturm

Real life is a funny thing, you know. I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life and looking back regretting the moments we didn't speak up. When we didn't say 'I love you'. When we should have said 'I'm sorry'. So there's a time for silence, and there's a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now.
- Taylor Swift

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
- Wanda Sykes

I believe, in a funny way, the job of the novelist is to be out there on the fringes and speaking for an experience that has not really been spoken for.
- Donna Tartt

Paradise was always over there, a day's sail away. But it's a funny thing, escapism. You can go far and wide and you can keep moving on and on through places and years, but you never escape your own life. I, finally, knew where my life belonged. Home.
- J Maarten Troost

Love is a funny thing. The ones we love don't always love us back.
- Scylar Tyberius

Standing amid the tan, excited post-Christmas crowd at the Southwest Florida Regional Airport, Rabbit Angstrom has a funny sudden feeling that what he has come to meet, what's floating in unseen about to land, is not his son Nelson and daughter-in-law Pru and their two children but something more ominous and intimately his: his own death, shaped vaguely like an airplane.
- John Updike

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
- Peter Ustinov

I didn't really notice that he had a funny nose.
And he certainly looked better all dressed up in fancy clothes.
He's not nearly as attractive as he seemed the other night.
So I think I'll just pretend that this glass slipper feels too tight.
- Judith Viorst

Lots of models have played mermaids throughout history and it is, kind of, a funny rite of passage.
- Gemma Ward

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
- William Arthur Ward

Dirt's a funny thing,' the Boss said. 'Come to think of it, there ain't a thing but dirt on this green God's globe except what's under water, and that's dirt too. It's dirt makes the grass grow. A diamond ain't a thing in the world but a piece of dirt that got awful hot. And God-a-Mighty picked up a handful of dirt and blew on it and made you and me and George Washington and mankind blessed in faculty and apprehension. It all depends on what you do with the dirt. That right?
- Robert Penn Warren

I think I've got a funny face.
- Dominic West

Sometimes you don't want to be a slapstick clown in order to convey a funny perception of the world.
- Tina Weymouth

When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again.
- Esther Williams

I think I am a star - I'm simply a funny-shaped star.
- Malcolm Wilson

It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.
- P G Wodehouse

And do you know a funny thing? I'm almost fifty years old and I've never understood anything in my whole life.
- Richard Yates

I have a funny name.
- Pia Zadora

'Portnoy's Complaint' was very far out there, and movies have always worked when you have either a funny situation between two or more people or a very dramatic situation. There's not that much difference.
- Richard D Zanuck

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