Why are you here?" "'Here' as in your bedroom, or 'here' as in the great, spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you're asking me whether this is all some cosmic coincidence or if there's a greater meta-ethical purpose to life, well, that's a puzzler for the ages. I mean, modern-day reductionism is clearly a fallacious argument, but-," -"I'm going back to bed." -"I'm here because Hodge reminded me it's your birthday. - Cassandra Clare I mean, what is an un-birthday present?" A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course." Alice considered a little. "I like birthday presents best," she said at last. You don't know what you're talking about!" cried Humpty Dumpty. "How many days are there in a year?" Three hundred and sixty-five," said Alice. And how many birthdays have you?" One. - Lewis Carroll There's a gift in your lap and it...

Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these. - Susan B Anthony Just tell me, Percy, do you still have the birthday gift I gave you last summer?" I nodded and pulled out my camp necklace. It had a bead for every summer I'd been at Camp Half-Blood, but since last year I'd also kept a sand dollar on the cord. My father had given it to me for my fifteenth birthday. He'd told me I would know when to "spend it," but so far I hadn't figured out what he meant. All I knew that it didn't fit the vending machines in the school cafeteria. - Rick Riordan Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could...

Do you need some birthday dick? I once got dick for my birthdaymy first birthday, in fact. That's how they knew I was a boy. - Jarod Kintz I know it's not your birthday, but would you like some birthday dick? It's on sale today. - Jarod Kintz

Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering. When they were ten he asked her to marry him. When they were eleven he kissed her for the first time... For her sixteenth birthday he gave her an English dictionary and together they learned the words. - Nicole Krauss Man, first I'm shot, now I'm going to be a friggin' zombie. At this rate, I'll never live to have my first date or a driver's license. Ah, gah! I've come too far to die a predestrian virgin. Bubba, you can't let me die...I only have seventeen more months and three days to my sixteenth birthday! (Nick) - Sherrilyn Kenyon When I went back into the kitchen, I wanted to sit on my mum's lap. I know that sounds stupid and babyish , but I couldn't help it. On my sixteenth birthday, I didn't want to be sixteen, or fifteen or anyteen. I wanted to be three or four, and too young to make any kind of mess - Nick Hor...

I should have known he and I weren't going to make it when for my seventeenth birthday he gave me a box of microwave popcorn and a used battery tester. You know, to test batteries before I put them in my Walkman. Like you give someone when you're in love. - Tina Fey This girl (Stephanie) is but a few months away from her seventeenth birthday and already she has saved the world and killed a god. What have you done? - Derek Landy

He taught me there's a place on a man's back where, if you sink a blade in, you can pierce his heart and sever his spine, all at once,' Sebastian had said. 'I guess we got the same birthday present that year, big brother,' Jace thought. 'Didn't we? - Cassandra Clare When I think about my clone, random songs pop into my head. Songs like, "Happy Birthday." Will he celebrate the same birthday as me? He'd better, because without me, there'd be nothing for him to celebrate. - Jarod Kintz I'm always amazed that my twin has the same birthday as me, and that he doesn't exist. I wonder if I exist? - Jarod Kintz

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new. - Sammy Hagar You have no idea what you do to me," he said as he stood. "I could barely keep my hands off you last night, even after seeing what you'd been through this week. Even after knowing how wrecked you were when you told me. And I"m going to spend an eternity in hell for that dream I had about you on your birthday. But if I could call it up again, I'd spend it twice. - Michelle Hodkin On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones. - Jarod Kintz Growing up in my family meant ambushes on your birthday, crossbows for Christmas, and games of dodge ball where the balls were occasionally rigged to explode. It also meant learning how to work your way out of a wide variety of death traps. Failure to get loose on your own could lead to missing dinner, or worse, being forced to admit that you missed dinner because your baby sister had tied you to th...

Clearly God was in some kind of mood on my birthday. - Jodi Picoult My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing. - Chris Brown On my birthday, I was in Milan for the collections. - Eva Herzigova The event happened on my birthday. I don't remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents. - Jarod Kintz I want a piece of advice like I want a piece of cakeon my birthday, the year after I've died. - Jarod Kintz All I watch is the Food Network. I took a cheesemaking class a few weeks ago, and I told my family and friends to only get me kitchen stuff on my birthday. I'm into every kind of cookbook and anything by Anthony Bourdain. I'd love to own a restaurant if I could find the right chef. - Jesse Mccartney I was fired by 'America's Next Top Model' on my birthday. - Paulina Porizkova I used to go to the...

Clearly God was in some kind of mood on my birthday. - Jodi Picoult For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright You are everything that's ever been my favorite thing, you are my love song, my birthday cake, the sound of ocean waves and French words and a baby's laugh. You're a snow angel, creme brule, a kaleidoscope filled with glitter. I love you and you'll never catch up, because I've gotten a head start and my heart is racing at light speed - Lisa Kleypas I tried getting my dad to buy me a beeper for my birthday," he says, "but he thinks only doctors and drug dealers need them. - Jay Asher It's my birthday today. I'm not 17 anymore. The 17 Janis Ian sang about where one learns the truth. But what she failed to mention is that you keep on learning truths after 17 and I want to keep on learning truths till the day I die. - Melina Marchetta Nobody gave me wha...

Why are you here?" "'Here' as in your bedroom, or 'here' as in the great, spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you're asking me whether this is all some cosmic coincidence or if there's a greater meta-ethical purpose to life, well, that's a puzzler for the ages. I mean, modern-day reductionism is clearly a fallacious argument, but-," -"I'm going back to bed." -"I'm here because Hodge reminded me it's your birthday. - Cassandra Clare The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday. - Paris Hilton

It's my birthday today. I'm not 17 anymore. The 17 Janis Ian sang about where one learns the truth. But what she failed to mention is that you keep on learning truths after 17 and I want to keep on learning truths till the day I die. - Melina Marchetta And now," he continued, speaking to Milo, "where were you on the night on July 27?" What does that have to do with it?" asked Milo. It's my birthday, that's what," said the policeman as he entered "Forgot my birthday" in his little book. "Boys always forget other people's birthdays. - Norton Juster It's my birthday, who could be calling me? Probably my clone, wondering why he hasn't been born yet. - Jarod Kintz I am 13 years old, I am 13 stone, I have no money, no friends, and boys throw gravel at me. It's my birthday, and I went to bed at 7.15pm. - Caitlin Moran

I want a room decorated with bones!" Dan said. "Where'd they come from?" "Cemeteries," Amy said. "Back in the 1700s, the cemeteries were getting overcrowded, so they decided to dig up tons of old bodiesall their bonesand move them into the Catacombs. The thing is...look at the dates. See when they started moving bones into the Catacombs?" Dan squinted at the screen. He didn't see what she was talking about. "Is it my birthday? - Rick Riordan Is it my birthday again? Already? Where does the time go?" "Behind us --or in front. It depends on which way you are looking. - David Eddings

Every morning is my birthday and every night is my death-day. - Santosh Kalwar The value of me is equal to 5097033198, but also 3051982. The first is my phone number, and the second is my birthday. I assign values to people. My fifth grade bus driver had a Cheeto factor of four. - Jarod Kintz

never having seen any authentic record containing it. By far the larger part of the slaves know as little of their ages as horses know of theirs, and it is the wish of most masters within my knowledge to keep their slaves thus ignorant. I do not remember to have ever met a slave who could tell of his birthday. They seldom come nearer to it than planting-time, harvesttime, cherry-time, spring-time, or fall-time. A - Frederick Douglass Dark is a way and light is a place, Heaven that never was Nor will be ever is always true Poem on His Birthday - Dylan Thomas I, Alex Cross do solemnly promise-to all those present at this birthday party- to do my best to balance my life at home with my work,life,and not to go over to the dark side ever again. - James Patterson Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday. - Jarod Kintz So how did he look at me?" "Like it was his birthday and you were the cake. - Karen Marie Moning ...wha...

Only then, approaching my fortieth birthday, I made philosophy my life's work. - Karl Jaspers Well, I started conducting kind of by accident. I wanted to give myself a special birthday present for my fortieth birthday, and I was living in San Francisco at the time and I started attending some of the concerts and then simply dropping hints. - Bobby Mcferrin

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright I tried getting my dad to buy me a beeper for my birthday," he says, "but he thinks only doctors and drug dealers need them. - Jay Asher Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!" "What were you expecting?" "Real estate! - Charles M Schulz I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff. - Chastity Bono For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I'd just inherited my dad's turntable - gave me a carton of albums like 'Blue Kentucky Girl,' by Emmylou Harris, and 'Off the Wall,' by Michael Jackson. It's all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can't have a music collection without Prince's 'Purple Rain' - it just can...

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know. - Lewis Carroll Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could I not be grateful to Santa Claus when he put in my stockings the gift of two miraculous legs? We thank people for birthday presents of cigars and slippers. Can I thank no one for the birthday present of birth? - Gilbert K Chesterton At her birthday, my seven-year-old daughter will say that she wants these big cakes and certain expensive toys as presents, and I can't say no to her. It would just break my heart. But when I was little, for birthdays we just played outside and we were happy if we got any cake. - Goran Ivanisevic Cake is for the weak, Mom always says. Funny, I thought it was for birthdays. - Danielle Joseph I grew up doing all that stuff because I was obsessed with the '50s. I had sock hops for birthday parties. So I've ...

It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me. - Anthony Burgess You know who you remind me of? The kid cop in Lethal Weapon 3. You know, the one who says, 'it's my twenty-first birthday today', and right away you know he's dead meat? - Jennifer Crusie I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday. - Jarod Kintz Do you need some birthday dick? I once got dick for my birthdaymy first birthday, in fact. That's how they knew I was a boy. - Jarod Kintz Aimee saw more of the world before her first birthday than most people do in a lifetime. I just wish I'd been sober for more of it. I was there physically, but not mentally. So I missed things you can never do over again: the first crawl, the first step, the first word. If I think about it for too long, it breaks my heart. - Ozzy Osbourne

On my fifteenth birthday, I came to realize that the expression spoiled rotten meant exactly that. We kids were the apples of our parents' eyes, and I, for one, was rotting from inside out. - Neal Shusterman Just tell me, Percy, do you still have the birthday gift I gave you last summer?" I nodded and pulled out my camp necklace. It had a bead for every summer I'd been at Camp Half-Blood, but since last year I'd also kept a sand dollar on the cord. My father had given it to me for my fifteenth birthday. He'd told me I would know when to "spend it," but so far I hadn't figured out what he meant. All I knew that it didn't fit the vending machines in the school cafeteria. - Rick Riordan I couldn't miss Percy's fifteenth birthday," Poseidon said. "Why, if this were Sparta, Percy would be a man today!" That's true," Paul said. "I used to teach ancient history." Poseidon's eyes twinkled. "That's m...

And I thought, eight years ago, when I began carefully charting the progress of American Gods, nervously dipping my toes into the waters of blogging, would I have imagined a future in which, instead of recording the vicissitudes of bringing a book into the world, I would be writing about not-even-interestingly missing cups of cold camomile tea? And I thought, yup. Sounds about right. Happy Eighth birthday, blog. - Neil Gaiman My son had his eighth birthday recently and we had a chance to borrow the film and show it to all of his friends that was at his birthday party and they loved it. I was a little nervous. I said they might not even like it, and say his daddy's movie is wack, but they loved it. - Blair Underwood