For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- Steven Wright
I tried getting my dad to buy me a beeper for my birthday," he says, "but he thinks only doctors and drug dealers need them.
- Jay Asher
Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!"
"What were you expecting?"
"Real estate!
- Charles M Schulz
I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff.
- Chastity Bono
For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I'd just inherited my dad's turntable - gave me a carton of albums like 'Blue Kentucky Girl,' by Emmylou Harris, and 'Off the Wall,' by Michael Jackson. It's all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can't have a music collection without Prince's 'Purple Rain' - it just can't be done!
- Connie Britton
We didn't have a whole lot of money when I was growing up either. I would always ask for magic books or magic tricks for my birthday or for Christmas and the rest of the year I either had to mow lawns or find part time jobs to help supplement the cost of doing magic.
- Lance Burton
Ky gives me three gifts for my birthday. A poem, a kiss and the hopeless, beautiful belief that things might work.
When I open my eyes... I say, "I didn't give you anything for your birthday, i don't even know when it is." And he says, "Don't worry about that" and I say, "What can I do?" and he answers, "Let me believe in this, all of this, and you believe it too."
And I do.
- Ally Condie
When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.
- Giada De Laurentiis
All I want for my birthday is another birthday.
- Ian Dury
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote:
I give you the world.
Have fun blowing it up.
- Craig Ferguson
If there's one thing I really want for my birthday, that is for the mining company not to mine my daddy's reserve.
- Bindi Irwin
My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
- Guy Johnson
Growing up, my parents never gave me as much as I wanted for my birthday. For example, one year I wanted a yo-yo, and they ended up giving me some wound up string. Gee, thanks, mom.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend bought be a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don't get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.
- Jarod Kintz
For my birthday, a few of my wealthier friends got me a pot to piss in. Also, they were kind enough to fill it up with cat litter.
- Jarod Kintz
Do you need some birthday dick? I once got dick for my birthdaymy first birthday, in fact. That's how they knew I was a boy.
- Jarod Kintz
- Steven Wright
I tried getting my dad to buy me a beeper for my birthday," he says, "but he thinks only doctors and drug dealers need them.
- Jay Asher
Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!"
"What were you expecting?"
"Real estate!
- Charles M Schulz
I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff.
- Chastity Bono
For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I'd just inherited my dad's turntable - gave me a carton of albums like 'Blue Kentucky Girl,' by Emmylou Harris, and 'Off the Wall,' by Michael Jackson. It's all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can't have a music collection without Prince's 'Purple Rain' - it just can't be done!
- Connie Britton
We didn't have a whole lot of money when I was growing up either. I would always ask for magic books or magic tricks for my birthday or for Christmas and the rest of the year I either had to mow lawns or find part time jobs to help supplement the cost of doing magic.
- Lance Burton
Ky gives me three gifts for my birthday. A poem, a kiss and the hopeless, beautiful belief that things might work.
When I open my eyes... I say, "I didn't give you anything for your birthday, i don't even know when it is." And he says, "Don't worry about that" and I say, "What can I do?" and he answers, "Let me believe in this, all of this, and you believe it too."
And I do.
- Ally Condie
When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.
- Giada De Laurentiis
All I want for my birthday is another birthday.
- Ian Dury
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote:
I give you the world.
Have fun blowing it up.
- Craig Ferguson
If there's one thing I really want for my birthday, that is for the mining company not to mine my daddy's reserve.
- Bindi Irwin
My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
- Guy Johnson
Growing up, my parents never gave me as much as I wanted for my birthday. For example, one year I wanted a yo-yo, and they ended up giving me some wound up string. Gee, thanks, mom.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend bought be a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don't get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.
- Jarod Kintz
For my birthday, a few of my wealthier friends got me a pot to piss in. Also, they were kind enough to fill it up with cat litter.
- Jarod Kintz
Do you need some birthday dick? I once got dick for my birthdaymy first birthday, in fact. That's how they knew I was a boy.
- Jarod Kintz
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