The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons. - Eoin Colfer Russia's biggest problem is organized crime and its leaders are influenced by the Russian mafia. But it's not right to call it a Russian mafia, it's a Jewish mafia. - David Duke And still she felt more confident at the prospect of taking on the Russian Mafia than she did attending a backyard barbecue. - Nora Roberts This is why you must love life: one day you're offering up your social security number to the Russian Mafia; two weeks later you're using the word calve as a verb. - Maria Semple