Justin, honey, you were my very first kiss. My very first hand to hold. But you were nothing more than an average guy. And I don't say that to be mean- I don't. There was just something about you that made me need to be your girlfriend to this day I don't know exactly what that was. But it was there.. and it was amazingly strong. -Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher As your girlfriend, you've just pissed me off. As your High Priestess, you've just insulted me. And as someone with a working brain, you've made me wonder if you've lost every bit of your sense. (Zoey Redbird) - P C Cast Don't touch me, Daimon. You're not worthy. (Kessar) Up yours, asshole. I don't want the Sumerian slime pit stench on me anyway. Take your girlfriends and get the hell out of our casino. (Damien) - Sherrilyn Kenyon Whether you're throwing up or breaking up, you want your girlfriend right there! I don't trust women who don't go to their girlfriends. - Drew...

I would love to introduce you all to my girlfriend, she's.... Imaginary - Haresh Daswani I see myself being married to my girlfriend and backpacking all over the world. If I can go out and do a 15-mile hike and climb a 12,000-ft. peak, I'm good to go. - Matt Long

I don't know why you would even want to stay with me," I said. T.R. looked stunned for a second and then whipped her elbow into my side as hard as she could--months later it was determined that the jab cracked a rib. Oh, get fucked!" she said, jumping up. "No wonder you don't have no girlfriend if you don't have no more feelings than to say a horrible thing like that. All I want to do is love you. Ain't you even gonna let me? - Larry Mcmurtry To give a man 5 sous because he is poor and has no bread is perfect, but to give him a blowjob because he has no girlfriend is too much of a good thing: you don't have to do that. - Michel Houellebecq

My girlfriend is an angel. -Xavier - Alexandra Adornetto I got in a fight with my girlfriend," I said. "I was just driving around, blowing off steam, you know?" Well, you should be more careful where you drive," the officer said. "You're making people nervous. You don't fit the profile of the neighborhood." I wanted to tell him that I didn't fit the profile of the country but I knew it would just get me into trouble. - Sherman Alexie And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum. - Cassandra Clare When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes." - Steven Wright Now we'd known each other for two years, th...

My ex girlfriend, she gave great log cabin. But she couldn't write a speech like Lincoln. So I grew a beard and broke up with her. - Jarod Kintz I got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that's to be expected, since she is a roofer. - Jarod Kintz My ex girlfriend and I, we had chemistry together. And right after that, we had biology. - Jarod Kintz When my ex girlfriend left, I was crushed. Why'd she have to drive off in a steamroller? - Jarod Kintz Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while "decorating" my ex girlfriend's front yard. - Jarod Kintz I miss my ex girlfriend a lot. But at least I'm getting to be a better shot. - Jarod Kintz Just because I'm hung up over my ex girlfriend, doesn't mean I won't hang up on her. Hell, I've already been put on hold for four hours. If she doesn't come back in another three, I'm going to hang up and call right back. - Jarod Kintz My eyes change colo...

Until meeting you, I wasn't looking for anything at all. Since meeting you, I'm kind of looking for a girlfriend. - Robyn Carr I'm looking for a girlfriend. That's why I brought binoculars. - Jarod Kintz

Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me." "I can't go with you." "Is it because of my questionable morals?" "No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school." "Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bother you? - Darynda Jones True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriends - and he accepts it. - Larry Mcmurtry You threatened to tell his girlfriend he'd been involved with you? (Hunter) No, I threatened to tell Brittany he made a pass at me if he didn't help. He's a slimeball I wouldn't let touch my dead philodendron. (Abbie) - Sherrilyn Kenyon When I was nine, I had this girlfriend and we used to have running races in the park. I wanted to be like Superman and fly in and rescue her. - Orlando Bloom A l...

When he bit into the flesh there softly, I almost accused him right there of lying to me about me being his first girlfriend, because he was way too good at this. - Shelly Crane I'm so in love with the United States. Not as a patriot. I'm in love with America like it's my first girlfriend. The geography, the people, the smell, the touch, the taste, the gas stations. I'm madly in love with America. - Vincent Gallo When I was 16 or 17, I remember kissing one of my first girlfriends, Kim Anderson, under a stairwell at Disneyland. I'll never forget that feeling. - John Stamos

My ex girlfriend, she gave great log cabin. But she couldn't write a speech like Lincoln. So I grew a beard and broke up with her. - Jarod Kintz I got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that's to be expected, since she is a roofer. - Jarod Kintz My ex girlfriend and I, we had chemistry together. And right after that, we had biology. - Jarod Kintz After they broke up, Renaldo's ex girlfriend said to never again date an older woman. And he wisely listened to her, because his mother only had his best interest in mind. - Jarod Kintz When my ex girlfriend left, I was crushed. Why'd she have to drive off in a steamroller? - Jarod Kintz We never know how bad we had it, until something better comes along and we get to experience it for a while before reverting back to what we had before. If you're wondering, yes, I did get back together with an ex girlfriend. - Jarod Kintz Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while "decorat...

Now we'd known each other for two years, the side of my calf was touching his shins, and his stomach was against my ribs. He said, "I don't think it's end of world to be my girlfriend." I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. It took seven languages to make me; it would be nice if I could have spoken just one. - Nicole Krauss Have you tried this shrimp? It's freaking amazing. Would you get away from me? I hate you. You're so moody. Just because I kidnapped you and tried to force you to be my girlfriend. I thought you would be over that by now. - Meg Cabot I think the qualities I look for in a girl I'd like to be my girlfriend would be the way Lindsay's character is before she becomes a plastic. Very real. - Jonathan Bennett You want to take me to a movie?" I asked. "Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off. - Sarah Dessen I did not ask yo...

I'm getting a girlfriend soon," said Michael in a serious tone, and everyone laughed. "You've got plenty of time for that, kiddo," said his father. "No need to rush." "Well, I don't want a boyfriend, Daddy," said Madeline. "Boys are dirty, and they make a mess when they eat." "I'd imagine the six-year-old ones would." Xavier chuckled. "But don't worry, they get better at it. - Alexandra Adornetto Who cares if you have a girlfriend, anyway?" "I care" Simon said gloomily. "Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor. And he smells like windex. - Cassandra Clare Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex." "At least you know he's still available. - Cassandra Clare I have always derived great comfort from William Shakespeare. After a depressing ...