My girlfriend is an angel. -Xavier
- Alexandra Adornetto
I got in a fight with my girlfriend," I said. "I was just driving around, blowing off steam, you know?"
Well, you should be more careful where you drive," the officer said. "You're making people nervous. You don't fit the profile of the neighborhood."
I wanted to tell him that I didn't fit the profile of the country but I knew it would just get me into trouble.
- Sherman Alexie
And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum.
- Cassandra Clare
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
- Steven Wright
Now we'd known each other for two years, the side of my calf was touching his shins, and his stomach was against my ribs. He said, "I don't think it's end of world to be my girlfriend." I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. It took seven languages to make me; it would be nice if I could have spoken just one.
- Nicole Krauss
I don't think I've ever referred to any girl I dated as my girlfriend. I think that would freak me out. Even the girl that I dated for two years in college I don't think I ever referred to her as my girlfriend."
"How would you introduce her?" I asked.
"I'm just going to say her name," he said.
- Daniel Amory
You're my girlfriend, Cami, unless you don't want it that way." He opened his eyes, looking at me.
I swallowed. "I want it that way."
"Good, because I think we've established I'm never going to get my fill of you.
- Lacey Weatherford
You know when I feel inwardly beautiful? When I am with my girlfriends and we are having a 'goddess circle'.
- Jennifer Aniston
Have you tried this shrimp? It's freaking amazing.
Would you get away from me? I hate you.
You're so moody. Just because I kidnapped you and tried to force you to be my girlfriend. I thought you would be over that by now.
- Meg Cabot
I still have not given up the idea of becoming a journalist, but at 17 I decided to follow my heart and stay in Los Angeles with my girlfriend as opposed to going to Johns Hopkins.
- Mackenzie Astin
Happiest day of my life when my dad made him human. (Devyn)
Happy for you, bonebag...It cost me my girlfriend. (Vik)
It was a lamp, Vik, not a girlfriend. (Devyn)
I really loved that lamp. She lit up my entire world. (Vik)
- Sherrilyn Kenyon
I think the qualities I look for in a girl I'd like to be my girlfriend would be the way Lindsay's character is before she becomes a plastic. Very real.
- Jonathan Bennett
Most of the afternoons I would pass looking out at the pasture. I soon began seeing things. A figure emerging from the birch woods and running straight in my direction. Usually it was the Sheep Man, but sometimes it was the Rat, sometimes my girlfriend. Other times it was the sheep with the star on it's back.
- Haruki Murakami
When I'm out with my girlfriends at the bar, and I see some young 18-year old boy, just for fun I say, 'Hi honey. Do you like girls? Do you like girls exclusively? Oh, good.'
- Yasmine Bleeth
I am a hopeless romantic and I love to spoil my girlfriends.
- Orlando Bloom
For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I'd just inherited my dad's turntable - gave me a carton of albums like 'Blue Kentucky Girl,' by Emmylou Harris, and 'Off the Wall,' by Michael Jackson. It's all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can't have a music collection without Prince's 'Purple Rain' - it just can't be done!
- Connie Britton
My girlfriend: sophomore honors student, demigod, andoh, yeahhead architect for redesigning the palace of the gods on Mount Olympus in her spare time.
- Rick Riordan
You shouldn't be afraid of me because I'm a vampire. You ought to be scared because you just trash-talked my girlfriend to her face.--Michael
- Rachel Caine
You know," I said to Michael, "my girlfriend took him down with a broken tree branch." "Too bad she isn't here," he said.
- Rachel Caine
My career is my girlfriend.
- Aaron Carter
I used to try to draw my girlfriends. I think one of the most romantic things that anybody can do is draw a portrait of the person you love.
- Nick Carter
I would love to introduce you all to my girlfriend, she's.... Imaginary
- Haresh Daswani
I have not spent years in therapy; I tried therapy in my mid-twenties, and it did not go very well. I just thought, 'This is so not for me. I would rather talk to one of my girlfriends.'
- Hope Davis
When we meet, I'm interested and I'm curious about what he's doing because he's burning a number from a client. And I'm like, 'Who is this?' and my girlfriend's like, 'That's a drug dealer. Stay away from him.'
- Rosario Dawson
I wouldn't have cared if my girlfriend was a Jaguar-driving Cyclops with a beard - I'd have been grateful just to have someone to make out with.
- John Green
You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!
- John Green
You really are one of a kind. I mean, it's not every day my girlfriend offers to kill me.
- Bree Despain
You want to take me to a movie?" I asked.
"Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off.
- Sarah Dessen
I have the loving support of my girlfriend who still attends Wake Forest and is nearing graduation. She helps me cope with the everyday rigors of being an NBA player.
- Tim Duncan
We kiss all the time." I clear my throat, then add, "We just...do it in private."
"A smug expression crosses his face. "I don't buy it for a second, 'cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder."
"A reminder of w-w-what?"
"That you were mine.
- Simone Elkeles
My girlfriend and I rented a nice house on the river and I was there for about two and a half months, and we were just out of Alabama. I hardly got to see Alabama.
- Albert Finney
I was raised by a single mother and I've been in a 10-year relationship with my girlfriend. My whole life I've been surrounded by women.
- Jon Hamm
He gestured at me. "That's Belly."
"Belly?" she repeated.
"Yup. She's my girlfriend."
I think I choked out loud.
- Jenny Han
Tucker: I'm glad it happened. because then I got to know who you really are.
Clara: Oh yeah? Who am I?
Tucker: A really, really spiritual, spoiled California chick.
Avery: Shut up.
Tucker: It's cool though. My girlfriend is an angel.
- Cynthia Hand
ONE OF MY girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.
- Chelsea Handler
To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend... I suppose I ought to have realize it's ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.
- Robert Harris
He asked my girlfriend if we could come over and sing some of the songs that we had written, which we did. After he heard the songs, he said that he knew someone in the record business by the name of Bob Shad.
- Phil Harris
I always say now that I'm in my blonde years. Because since the end of my marriage, all of my girlfriends have been blonde.
- Hugh Hefner
I'm someone, the same as my girlfriends, when they say what do you think about this, I don't always say they look fabulous. I say what I think.
- Heidi Klum
I'd been staying at the Holiday Inn with my girlfriend, honestly the most beautiful woman I'd even known, for three days under a phony name, shooting heroin. We made love in the bed, ate steaks at the restaurant, shot up in the john, puked, cried, accused one another, begged of one another, forgave, promised, and carried one another to heaven.
- Denis Johnson
I can only have dinner with my girlfriends once a month instead of once a week.
- Andrea Jung
While I appear to be happy and giggling, rest assured that inside I am sad. And angry. Like that one timeFeb 14, 1997, at 1:47 pm to be exactwhen John Beaverthief stole my girlfriend. He snatched her from the shelf of my life like she was a trophy wife. But she was no trophy; she was more of a maquette.
- Jarod Kintz
I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans.
- Jarod Kintz
I invited my girlfriend over and made her dinner. I didn't cook, but I did eat her.
- Jarod Kintz
When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, That's funny... because MY sperm was absent.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend Likes Sex and the City. Trouble is, I live in the country.
- Jarod Kintz
This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep.
- Jarod Kintz
I got my girlfriend knocked up, and I didn't even wear a boxing glove over my cock.
- Jarod Kintz
I've only been with my girlfriend for three days, but it feels like a lifetimethe lifetime of a gnat.
- Jarod Kintz
The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and a sticky note on the fridge that said, "I love you." "Oh my God," I thought. "Somebody's obsessed with me, and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday's coming up, so I'm half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend bought be a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don't get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She's tied up in the trunk this very moment.
- Jarod Kintz
I just broke up with my girlfriend. My wife will be pleased. But first she'll be displeased, because she didn't know I had a girlfriend.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend has two aliases. Clones aside, it's the only time I've ever felt like I was cheating on one person with the same person.
- Jarod Kintz
On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57.
- Jarod Kintz
If financial genius were legs, my girlfriend would own fourteen pairs of Jimmy Choos, and not have a single foot to put one on.
- Jarod Kintz
I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it up with kids.
- Jarod Kintz
I don't like it when I have guests over and my girlfriend doesn't wear pants and makes sock puppets with stinky socks and does impressions of my visitors with a falsetto voice. It's embarrassing. I hate when she steals my routine.
- Jarod Kintz
Me and my girlfriend aren't a good fit. Her clothes are much too small for me.
- Jarod Kintz
My neck size is about the size of both of my girlfriend's clenched hands.
- Jarod Kintz
I met my girlfriend at a bar. But I broke up with her because she was already there, hitting on another guy.
- Jarod Kintz
In high school, I had fun in my academic clubs, watching movies with my girlfriends, learning Latin, having long, protracted, unrequited crushes on older guys who didn't know me, and yes, hanging out with my family. I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you're grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that's it.
- Mindy Kaling
I think your girlfriends getting Jealous," Luce said, gesturing at the pair.
"Which one?" He asked.
"I didn't realise they were both your girlfriends."
"Neither is my girlfriend. I meant, which one did you think was my girlfriend?
- Lauren Kate
She was probably the girl I loved the most of all my girlfriends, but also the toughest one to make things work out with. If I had put that much effort into any of my other relationships, I'd be married with five kids now.
- Anthony Kiedis
What calmed me down finally was when my girlfriend got pregnant.
- Johnny Knoxville
I love the French and Italian church paintings from the Middle Ages. But I'm also interested to learn more about who was the first to make the leap from religious art to secular. That couldn't have been a small feat. Who was brave enough to say, You know what? Enough of Jesus. I'mma paint me this here bowl of fruit and then I'mma paint my girlfriend... naked!
- Jen Lancaster
We have parties at my house. My girlfriends and I play our iPods, with all of our favorite songs. We pick our songs and jump up on the counter and dance, and do runway stuff, and we take video with my camera. When I'm with my girlfriends, I act like I'm 19.
- Avril Lavigne
As hard as it is and as tired as I am, I force myself to get dinner at least once a week with my girlfriends, or have a sleepover. Otherwise my life is just work.
- Jennifer Lawrence
You are my girlfriend," whispered Matthew. " You're my girl and I'm your guy, and you're my girl and I'm your guy. Let's not fight."
-pg 126
- E Lockhart
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
- Jay London
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
- Jay London
I see myself being married to my girlfriend and backpacking all over the world. If I can go out and do a 15-mile hike and climb a 12,000-ft. peak, I'm good to go.
- Matt Long
It's funny, my girlfriends think that because I am married to a fashion designer, I get all these great tips and hints about great fashion, but it's not like that at all. He never tells me what to wear.
- Lori Loughlin
I couldn't feel good about myself hanging out in Armani clothes when my girlfriend can't even pay her heating bill. I'd feel foul and I'd be embarrassed.
- Shirley Manson
If you were my girlfriend I would give you a hundred lightning bugs in a green glass jar, so you could always see your way. I would give you a meadow full of wildflowers, where no two blooms would ever be alike. I would give you my bicycle, with its golden eye to protect you. I would write a story for you, and make you a princess who lived in a white marble castle. If you would only like me, I would give you magic. If you would only like me.
- Robert R Mccammon
My God you're sexy," Travis said, propping his head up with his hand. "The most beautiful woman at Eastern is my girlfriend. That's insanity.
- Jamie Mcguire
My girlfriend is much better than I am at working hard then resting, and she demands that from me, too. She insists on having time when we don't do anything. We leave the housework and watch a movie.
- Cynthia Nixon
My girlfriends and I just started doing plyometrics. It's a killer - it hurts so much. But when you walk out of there, you're like, 'I can't believe I just did that and my body looks this good.'
- Kelly Osbourne
I will raise you like my own," I promised the tiny basil pot that day. "I will give you sunlight, I will give you water, I will give you love."
"I will eat your limbs," my girlfriend helpfully added rubbing her belly and licking her lips like a grizzly bear gazing up at a sticky beehive in a tall pine tree.
- Neil Pasricha
I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
- Emo Philips
Natural talent!" crowed Vincent, sweeping my sweaty self up into his arms and pacing across the room, holding me like a trophy. "Of course my girlfriend's got it. In truckloads! How else could she have slain a giant evil zombie, single-handedly saving my undead body?
- Amy Plum
In any relationship that comes to an end, there's never just a baseline reason why. You say, 'Oh, I broke up with my girlfriend.' Someone says, 'Why?' You say, 'Well, you got three hours? And then maybe after I tell you my version, you've got to talk to her.'
- Michael Rapaport
If you tell people your ambitions, they usually laugh at you. When I told my girlfriends when I was 12 that I was going to Hollywood, they all laughed. And here I am!
- Helen Reddy
I did not ask you out. But I would seriously think about not shooting you down if you asked me. Nicely." I had to keep my pride.
He took both of my hands in his. "Brenna Blixen will you be my girlfriend, please." He held up one of my hands and kissed my knuckles smoothly. "Pretty please. With sugar on top.
- Liz Reinhardt
I was trying to decide if you still had free will as a wolf. If I was a terrible person for planning to drug my girlfriend and drag her back to my house to keep in the basement.
- Maggie Stiefvater
I slowly climbed back to my feet, walked back into the emergency department through the silently swishing glass doors, and, coverd in my girlfriend's blood, lied perfectly for the first time in my life.
I tried to stop her.
- Maggie Stiefvater
Are you on your own?"
"No. There are six people staring at me right now wondering who the hell i'm talking to."
shit..."Really?" I gasp, panicked.
"Yes. Really. My girlfriend," he announces away from the phone.
holy cow! "They probably all thought you were gay, you know.
- James E Rogers
I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend.
- Deion Sanders
Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.
- Adam Sandler
I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?
- Adam Sandler
Alex, I don't want to date you. I don't want you to be my girlfriend. I don't want us to be together for just a little while. I want you forever. I want us to look at each other, and say we love each other, and decide to be together forever. Alex...I want to spend our lives together. If we ever decided we want to have kids, I want it to be me and you.
- Charles Sheehan Miles
I love my girlfriend to bits. I'd never do anything to hurt her.
- Charlie Simpson
PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' beaux.
- Wallis Simpson
I can't speak for all women, but I do think that... I mean, me and my girlfriends, we definitely... we're in crisis on a continuous basis...or at least monthly, for sure, I don't know.
- Helen Slater
My girlfriend at the time convinced me to send these songs to Cavity Search. When they wanted to put out my record I was totally shocked.
- Elliott Smith
I text my girlfriends. I look at Facebook. I check my e-mail. If I'm away from the news cycle more than a few hours, I feel out of touch.
- Leelee Sobieski
Beauty magazines make my girlfriend feel ugly.
- James De La Vega
I love to cook and really enjoy cleaning my house. People always tease me about getting a maid. My girlfriend tells me that they are only $40 and will do everything. But that is my time to unwind, put my hair in a ponytail, throw on sweats, and be myself.
- Amy Weber
I've always felt it's ridiculous to say, of any of the females in my life: You're my friend, you're my wife, you're my girlfriend, you're my co-worker. This is your box, and you're not allowed to stray outside of it.
- Jack White
My girlfriend claims that her last boyfriend was a better kisser than me and I have to admit, he is pretty good.
- Dwight York
- Alexandra Adornetto
I got in a fight with my girlfriend," I said. "I was just driving around, blowing off steam, you know?"
Well, you should be more careful where you drive," the officer said. "You're making people nervous. You don't fit the profile of the neighborhood."
I wanted to tell him that I didn't fit the profile of the country but I knew it would just get me into trouble.
- Sherman Alexie
And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum.
- Cassandra Clare
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
- Steven Wright
Now we'd known each other for two years, the side of my calf was touching his shins, and his stomach was against my ribs. He said, "I don't think it's end of world to be my girlfriend." I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. It took seven languages to make me; it would be nice if I could have spoken just one.
- Nicole Krauss
I don't think I've ever referred to any girl I dated as my girlfriend. I think that would freak me out. Even the girl that I dated for two years in college I don't think I ever referred to her as my girlfriend."
"How would you introduce her?" I asked.
"I'm just going to say her name," he said.
- Daniel Amory
You're my girlfriend, Cami, unless you don't want it that way." He opened his eyes, looking at me.
I swallowed. "I want it that way."
"Good, because I think we've established I'm never going to get my fill of you.
- Lacey Weatherford
You know when I feel inwardly beautiful? When I am with my girlfriends and we are having a 'goddess circle'.
- Jennifer Aniston
Have you tried this shrimp? It's freaking amazing.
Would you get away from me? I hate you.
You're so moody. Just because I kidnapped you and tried to force you to be my girlfriend. I thought you would be over that by now.
- Meg Cabot
I still have not given up the idea of becoming a journalist, but at 17 I decided to follow my heart and stay in Los Angeles with my girlfriend as opposed to going to Johns Hopkins.
- Mackenzie Astin
Happiest day of my life when my dad made him human. (Devyn)
Happy for you, bonebag...It cost me my girlfriend. (Vik)
It was a lamp, Vik, not a girlfriend. (Devyn)
I really loved that lamp. She lit up my entire world. (Vik)
- Sherrilyn Kenyon
I think the qualities I look for in a girl I'd like to be my girlfriend would be the way Lindsay's character is before she becomes a plastic. Very real.
- Jonathan Bennett
Most of the afternoons I would pass looking out at the pasture. I soon began seeing things. A figure emerging from the birch woods and running straight in my direction. Usually it was the Sheep Man, but sometimes it was the Rat, sometimes my girlfriend. Other times it was the sheep with the star on it's back.
- Haruki Murakami
When I'm out with my girlfriends at the bar, and I see some young 18-year old boy, just for fun I say, 'Hi honey. Do you like girls? Do you like girls exclusively? Oh, good.'
- Yasmine Bleeth
I am a hopeless romantic and I love to spoil my girlfriends.
- Orlando Bloom
For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I'd just inherited my dad's turntable - gave me a carton of albums like 'Blue Kentucky Girl,' by Emmylou Harris, and 'Off the Wall,' by Michael Jackson. It's all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can't have a music collection without Prince's 'Purple Rain' - it just can't be done!
- Connie Britton
My girlfriend: sophomore honors student, demigod, andoh, yeahhead architect for redesigning the palace of the gods on Mount Olympus in her spare time.
- Rick Riordan
You shouldn't be afraid of me because I'm a vampire. You ought to be scared because you just trash-talked my girlfriend to her face.--Michael
- Rachel Caine
You know," I said to Michael, "my girlfriend took him down with a broken tree branch." "Too bad she isn't here," he said.
- Rachel Caine
My career is my girlfriend.
- Aaron Carter
I used to try to draw my girlfriends. I think one of the most romantic things that anybody can do is draw a portrait of the person you love.
- Nick Carter
I would love to introduce you all to my girlfriend, she's.... Imaginary
- Haresh Daswani
I have not spent years in therapy; I tried therapy in my mid-twenties, and it did not go very well. I just thought, 'This is so not for me. I would rather talk to one of my girlfriends.'
- Hope Davis
When we meet, I'm interested and I'm curious about what he's doing because he's burning a number from a client. And I'm like, 'Who is this?' and my girlfriend's like, 'That's a drug dealer. Stay away from him.'
- Rosario Dawson
I wouldn't have cared if my girlfriend was a Jaguar-driving Cyclops with a beard - I'd have been grateful just to have someone to make out with.
- John Green
You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!
- John Green
You really are one of a kind. I mean, it's not every day my girlfriend offers to kill me.
- Bree Despain
You want to take me to a movie?" I asked.
"Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off.
- Sarah Dessen
I have the loving support of my girlfriend who still attends Wake Forest and is nearing graduation. She helps me cope with the everyday rigors of being an NBA player.
- Tim Duncan
We kiss all the time." I clear my throat, then add, "We just...do it in private."
"A smug expression crosses his face. "I don't buy it for a second, 'cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder."
"A reminder of w-w-what?"
"That you were mine.
- Simone Elkeles
My girlfriend and I rented a nice house on the river and I was there for about two and a half months, and we were just out of Alabama. I hardly got to see Alabama.
- Albert Finney
I was raised by a single mother and I've been in a 10-year relationship with my girlfriend. My whole life I've been surrounded by women.
- Jon Hamm
He gestured at me. "That's Belly."
"Belly?" she repeated.
"Yup. She's my girlfriend."
I think I choked out loud.
- Jenny Han
Tucker: I'm glad it happened. because then I got to know who you really are.
Clara: Oh yeah? Who am I?
Tucker: A really, really spiritual, spoiled California chick.
Avery: Shut up.
Tucker: It's cool though. My girlfriend is an angel.
- Cynthia Hand
ONE OF MY girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.
- Chelsea Handler
To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend... I suppose I ought to have realize it's ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.
- Robert Harris
He asked my girlfriend if we could come over and sing some of the songs that we had written, which we did. After he heard the songs, he said that he knew someone in the record business by the name of Bob Shad.
- Phil Harris
I always say now that I'm in my blonde years. Because since the end of my marriage, all of my girlfriends have been blonde.
- Hugh Hefner
I'm someone, the same as my girlfriends, when they say what do you think about this, I don't always say they look fabulous. I say what I think.
- Heidi Klum
I'd been staying at the Holiday Inn with my girlfriend, honestly the most beautiful woman I'd even known, for three days under a phony name, shooting heroin. We made love in the bed, ate steaks at the restaurant, shot up in the john, puked, cried, accused one another, begged of one another, forgave, promised, and carried one another to heaven.
- Denis Johnson
I can only have dinner with my girlfriends once a month instead of once a week.
- Andrea Jung
While I appear to be happy and giggling, rest assured that inside I am sad. And angry. Like that one timeFeb 14, 1997, at 1:47 pm to be exactwhen John Beaverthief stole my girlfriend. He snatched her from the shelf of my life like she was a trophy wife. But she was no trophy; she was more of a maquette.
- Jarod Kintz
I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans.
- Jarod Kintz
I invited my girlfriend over and made her dinner. I didn't cook, but I did eat her.
- Jarod Kintz
When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, That's funny... because MY sperm was absent.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend Likes Sex and the City. Trouble is, I live in the country.
- Jarod Kintz
This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep.
- Jarod Kintz
I got my girlfriend knocked up, and I didn't even wear a boxing glove over my cock.
- Jarod Kintz
I've only been with my girlfriend for three days, but it feels like a lifetimethe lifetime of a gnat.
- Jarod Kintz
The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and a sticky note on the fridge that said, "I love you." "Oh my God," I thought. "Somebody's obsessed with me, and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday's coming up, so I'm half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend bought be a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don't get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She's tied up in the trunk this very moment.
- Jarod Kintz
I just broke up with my girlfriend. My wife will be pleased. But first she'll be displeased, because she didn't know I had a girlfriend.
- Jarod Kintz
My girlfriend has two aliases. Clones aside, it's the only time I've ever felt like I was cheating on one person with the same person.
- Jarod Kintz
On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57.
- Jarod Kintz
If financial genius were legs, my girlfriend would own fourteen pairs of Jimmy Choos, and not have a single foot to put one on.
- Jarod Kintz
I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it up with kids.
- Jarod Kintz
I don't like it when I have guests over and my girlfriend doesn't wear pants and makes sock puppets with stinky socks and does impressions of my visitors with a falsetto voice. It's embarrassing. I hate when she steals my routine.
- Jarod Kintz
Me and my girlfriend aren't a good fit. Her clothes are much too small for me.
- Jarod Kintz
My neck size is about the size of both of my girlfriend's clenched hands.
- Jarod Kintz
I met my girlfriend at a bar. But I broke up with her because she was already there, hitting on another guy.
- Jarod Kintz
In high school, I had fun in my academic clubs, watching movies with my girlfriends, learning Latin, having long, protracted, unrequited crushes on older guys who didn't know me, and yes, hanging out with my family. I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you're grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that's it.
- Mindy Kaling
I think your girlfriends getting Jealous," Luce said, gesturing at the pair.
"Which one?" He asked.
"I didn't realise they were both your girlfriends."
"Neither is my girlfriend. I meant, which one did you think was my girlfriend?
- Lauren Kate
She was probably the girl I loved the most of all my girlfriends, but also the toughest one to make things work out with. If I had put that much effort into any of my other relationships, I'd be married with five kids now.
- Anthony Kiedis
What calmed me down finally was when my girlfriend got pregnant.
- Johnny Knoxville
I love the French and Italian church paintings from the Middle Ages. But I'm also interested to learn more about who was the first to make the leap from religious art to secular. That couldn't have been a small feat. Who was brave enough to say, You know what? Enough of Jesus. I'mma paint me this here bowl of fruit and then I'mma paint my girlfriend... naked!
- Jen Lancaster
We have parties at my house. My girlfriends and I play our iPods, with all of our favorite songs. We pick our songs and jump up on the counter and dance, and do runway stuff, and we take video with my camera. When I'm with my girlfriends, I act like I'm 19.
- Avril Lavigne
As hard as it is and as tired as I am, I force myself to get dinner at least once a week with my girlfriends, or have a sleepover. Otherwise my life is just work.
- Jennifer Lawrence
You are my girlfriend," whispered Matthew. " You're my girl and I'm your guy, and you're my girl and I'm your guy. Let's not fight."
-pg 126
- E Lockhart
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
- Jay London
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
- Jay London
I see myself being married to my girlfriend and backpacking all over the world. If I can go out and do a 15-mile hike and climb a 12,000-ft. peak, I'm good to go.
- Matt Long
It's funny, my girlfriends think that because I am married to a fashion designer, I get all these great tips and hints about great fashion, but it's not like that at all. He never tells me what to wear.
- Lori Loughlin
I couldn't feel good about myself hanging out in Armani clothes when my girlfriend can't even pay her heating bill. I'd feel foul and I'd be embarrassed.
- Shirley Manson
If you were my girlfriend I would give you a hundred lightning bugs in a green glass jar, so you could always see your way. I would give you a meadow full of wildflowers, where no two blooms would ever be alike. I would give you my bicycle, with its golden eye to protect you. I would write a story for you, and make you a princess who lived in a white marble castle. If you would only like me, I would give you magic. If you would only like me.
- Robert R Mccammon
My God you're sexy," Travis said, propping his head up with his hand. "The most beautiful woman at Eastern is my girlfriend. That's insanity.
- Jamie Mcguire
My girlfriend is much better than I am at working hard then resting, and she demands that from me, too. She insists on having time when we don't do anything. We leave the housework and watch a movie.
- Cynthia Nixon
My girlfriends and I just started doing plyometrics. It's a killer - it hurts so much. But when you walk out of there, you're like, 'I can't believe I just did that and my body looks this good.'
- Kelly Osbourne
I will raise you like my own," I promised the tiny basil pot that day. "I will give you sunlight, I will give you water, I will give you love."
"I will eat your limbs," my girlfriend helpfully added rubbing her belly and licking her lips like a grizzly bear gazing up at a sticky beehive in a tall pine tree.
- Neil Pasricha
I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
- Emo Philips
Natural talent!" crowed Vincent, sweeping my sweaty self up into his arms and pacing across the room, holding me like a trophy. "Of course my girlfriend's got it. In truckloads! How else could she have slain a giant evil zombie, single-handedly saving my undead body?
- Amy Plum
In any relationship that comes to an end, there's never just a baseline reason why. You say, 'Oh, I broke up with my girlfriend.' Someone says, 'Why?' You say, 'Well, you got three hours? And then maybe after I tell you my version, you've got to talk to her.'
- Michael Rapaport
If you tell people your ambitions, they usually laugh at you. When I told my girlfriends when I was 12 that I was going to Hollywood, they all laughed. And here I am!
- Helen Reddy
I did not ask you out. But I would seriously think about not shooting you down if you asked me. Nicely." I had to keep my pride.
He took both of my hands in his. "Brenna Blixen will you be my girlfriend, please." He held up one of my hands and kissed my knuckles smoothly. "Pretty please. With sugar on top.
- Liz Reinhardt
I was trying to decide if you still had free will as a wolf. If I was a terrible person for planning to drug my girlfriend and drag her back to my house to keep in the basement.
- Maggie Stiefvater
I slowly climbed back to my feet, walked back into the emergency department through the silently swishing glass doors, and, coverd in my girlfriend's blood, lied perfectly for the first time in my life.
I tried to stop her.
- Maggie Stiefvater
Are you on your own?"
"No. There are six people staring at me right now wondering who the hell i'm talking to."
shit..."Really?" I gasp, panicked.
"Yes. Really. My girlfriend," he announces away from the phone.
holy cow! "They probably all thought you were gay, you know.
- James E Rogers
I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend.
- Deion Sanders
Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.
- Adam Sandler
I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?
- Adam Sandler
Alex, I don't want to date you. I don't want you to be my girlfriend. I don't want us to be together for just a little while. I want you forever. I want us to look at each other, and say we love each other, and decide to be together forever. Alex...I want to spend our lives together. If we ever decided we want to have kids, I want it to be me and you.
- Charles Sheehan Miles
I love my girlfriend to bits. I'd never do anything to hurt her.
- Charlie Simpson
PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' beaux.
- Wallis Simpson
I can't speak for all women, but I do think that... I mean, me and my girlfriends, we definitely... we're in crisis on a continuous basis...or at least monthly, for sure, I don't know.
- Helen Slater
My girlfriend at the time convinced me to send these songs to Cavity Search. When they wanted to put out my record I was totally shocked.
- Elliott Smith
I text my girlfriends. I look at Facebook. I check my e-mail. If I'm away from the news cycle more than a few hours, I feel out of touch.
- Leelee Sobieski
Beauty magazines make my girlfriend feel ugly.
- James De La Vega
I love to cook and really enjoy cleaning my house. People always tease me about getting a maid. My girlfriend tells me that they are only $40 and will do everything. But that is my time to unwind, put my hair in a ponytail, throw on sweats, and be myself.
- Amy Weber
I've always felt it's ridiculous to say, of any of the females in my life: You're my friend, you're my wife, you're my girlfriend, you're my co-worker. This is your box, and you're not allowed to stray outside of it.
- Jack White
My girlfriend claims that her last boyfriend was a better kisser than me and I have to admit, he is pretty good.
- Dwight York
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