My ex girlfriend, she gave great log cabin. But she couldn't write a speech like Lincoln. So I grew a beard and broke up with her.
- Jarod Kintz
I got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that's to be expected, since she is a roofer.
- Jarod Kintz
My ex girlfriend and I, we had chemistry together. And right after that, we had biology.
- Jarod Kintz
After they broke up, Renaldo's ex girlfriend said to never again date an older woman. And he wisely listened to her, because his mother only had his best interest in mind.
- Jarod Kintz
When my ex girlfriend left, I was crushed. Why'd she have to drive off in a steamroller?
- Jarod Kintz
We never know how bad we had it, until something better comes along and we get to experience it for a while before reverting back to what we had before. If you're wondering, yes, I did get back together with an ex girlfriend.
- Jarod Kintz
Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while "decorating" my ex girlfriend's front yard.
- Jarod Kintz
I miss my ex girlfriend a lot. But at least I'm getting to be a better shot.
- Jarod Kintz
Just because I'm hung up over my ex girlfriend, doesn't mean I won't hang up on her. Hell, I've already been put on hold for four hours. If she doesn't come back in another three, I'm going to hang up and call right back.
- Jarod Kintz
My eyes change color depending on my mood and what I'm wearing. If I'm wearing an acorn brown shirt, my eyes look like squirrel fur. And if I'm wearing no shirt at all, my eyes look more nude and flesh-colored. I guess my ex girlfriend, Zelda, said it best when her friend asked her what I look like and she said: He looks like you'd imagine him to look like, if you had no imagination.
- Jarod Kintz
I was reminded of my ex girlfriend the other day. It's amazing that something as simple as a first and last name, identical to hers, could remind me of her. I wonder how Zelda McFelda is doing thee days.
- Jarod Kintz
My ex girlfriend said she'd never cheat on me. Well, she didwith an accountant. Now I owe money to the IRS.
- Jarod Kintz
My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite.
- Jarod Kintz
My ex girlfriend would say I am a bit of a romantic. Well, actually, she'd say I bit a romantic. I bit her on the bum.
- Jarod Kintz
- Jarod Kintz
I got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that's to be expected, since she is a roofer.
- Jarod Kintz
My ex girlfriend and I, we had chemistry together. And right after that, we had biology.
- Jarod Kintz
After they broke up, Renaldo's ex girlfriend said to never again date an older woman. And he wisely listened to her, because his mother only had his best interest in mind.
- Jarod Kintz
When my ex girlfriend left, I was crushed. Why'd she have to drive off in a steamroller?
- Jarod Kintz
We never know how bad we had it, until something better comes along and we get to experience it for a while before reverting back to what we had before. If you're wondering, yes, I did get back together with an ex girlfriend.
- Jarod Kintz
Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while "decorating" my ex girlfriend's front yard.
- Jarod Kintz
I miss my ex girlfriend a lot. But at least I'm getting to be a better shot.
- Jarod Kintz
Just because I'm hung up over my ex girlfriend, doesn't mean I won't hang up on her. Hell, I've already been put on hold for four hours. If she doesn't come back in another three, I'm going to hang up and call right back.
- Jarod Kintz
My eyes change color depending on my mood and what I'm wearing. If I'm wearing an acorn brown shirt, my eyes look like squirrel fur. And if I'm wearing no shirt at all, my eyes look more nude and flesh-colored. I guess my ex girlfriend, Zelda, said it best when her friend asked her what I look like and she said: He looks like you'd imagine him to look like, if you had no imagination.
- Jarod Kintz
I was reminded of my ex girlfriend the other day. It's amazing that something as simple as a first and last name, identical to hers, could remind me of her. I wonder how Zelda McFelda is doing thee days.
- Jarod Kintz
My ex girlfriend said she'd never cheat on me. Well, she didwith an accountant. Now I owe money to the IRS.
- Jarod Kintz
My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite.
- Jarod Kintz
My ex girlfriend would say I am a bit of a romantic. Well, actually, she'd say I bit a romantic. I bit her on the bum.
- Jarod Kintz
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