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My Birthday Quotes

Clearly God was in some kind of mood on my birthday.
- Jodi Picoult

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- Steven Wright

You are everything that's ever been my favorite thing, you are my love song, my birthday cake, the sound of ocean waves and French words and a baby's laugh. You're a snow angel, creme brule, a kaleidoscope filled with glitter. I love you and you'll never catch up, because I've gotten a head start and my heart is racing at light speed
- Lisa Kleypas

I tried getting my dad to buy me a beeper for my birthday," he says, "but he thinks only doctors and drug dealers need them.
- Jay Asher

It's my birthday today. I'm not 17 anymore. The 17 Janis Ian sang about where one learns the truth. But what she failed to mention is that you keep on learning truths after 17 and I want to keep on learning truths till the day I die.
- Melina Marchetta

Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!"
"What were you expecting?"
"Real estate!
- Charles M Schulz

For instance, I never complained that my birthday was overlooked; people were even surprised, with a touch of admiration, by my discretion on this subject. But the reason for my disinterestedness was even more discreet: I longed to be forgotten in order to be able to complain to myself... Once my solitude was thoroughly proved, I could surrender to the charms of a virile self-pity.
- Albert Camus

even at nearly nine, I associated my birthday with the first hint of summer, with the feeling in classroom of open windows and lighter clothing and in a few months no more homework.
- Aimee Bender

I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff.
- Chastity Bono

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
- Samuel Johnson

I thought about it for awhile, hiding it from the rest of my mind. But I didn't ruin my birthday by secretly thinking about it too hard
- Richard Brautigan

For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I'd just inherited my dad's turntable - gave me a carton of albums like 'Blue Kentucky Girl,' by Emmylou Harris, and 'Off the Wall,' by Michael Jackson. It's all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can't have a music collection without Prince's 'Purple Rain' - it just can't be done!
- Connie Britton

My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing.
- Chris Brown

I told my father I wanted to play the banjo, and so he saved the money and got ready to give me a banjo for my next birthday, and between that time and my birthday, I lost interest in the banjo and was playing guitar.
- Jackson Browne

I want a room decorated with bones!" Dan said. "Where'd they come from?"
"Cemeteries," Amy said. "Back in the 1700s, the cemeteries were getting overcrowded, so they decided to dig up tons of old bodiesall their bonesand move them into the Catacombs. The thing is...look at the dates. See when they started moving bones into the Catacombs?"
Dan squinted at the screen. He didn't see what she was talking about. "Is it my birthday?
- Rick Riordan

Glen had a disability more disfiguring than a burn and more terrifying than cancer.
Glen had been born on the day after Christmas.
"My parents just combine my birthday with Christmas, that's all," he explained.
But we knew this was a lie. Glen's parents just wrapped a couple of his Christmas presents in birthday-themed wrapping paper, stuck some candles in a supermarket cake, and had a dinner of Christmas leftovers.
- Augusten Burroughs

We didn't have a whole lot of money when I was growing up either. I would always ask for magic books or magic tricks for my birthday or for Christmas and the rest of the year I either had to mow lawns or find part time jobs to help supplement the cost of doing magic.
- Lance Burton

Ky gives me three gifts for my birthday. A poem, a kiss and the hopeless, beautiful belief that things might work.
When I open my eyes... I say, "I didn't give you anything for your birthday, i don't even know when it is." And he says, "Don't worry about that" and I say, "What can I do?" and he answers, "Let me believe in this, all of this, and you believe it too."
And I do.
- Ally Condie

I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit.
- Amanda Seyfried

Every morning is my birthday and every night is my death-day.
- Santosh Kalwar

When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.
- Giada De Laurentiis

My birthday began with the water -
Birds and the birds of the winged trees flying my name.
- Dylan Thomas

All I want for my birthday is another birthday.
- Ian Dury

Is it my birthday again? Already? Where does the time go?"
"Behind us --or in front. It depends on which way you are looking.
- David Eddings

For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote:
I give you the world.
Have fun blowing it up.
- Craig Ferguson

Want any of this stuff? Jordan?... Nick?"
I didn't answer.
Nick?" he asked again.
What?"
Want any?"
No... I just remembered that today's my birthday."
I was thirty. Before me stretched the portentous, menacing road of a new decade.
- F Scott Fitzgerald

The night you gave me my birthday party... you were a young Lieutenant and I was a fragrant phantom, wasn't I? And it was a radiant night, a night of soft conspiracy and the trees agreed that it was all going to be for the best.
- Zelda Fitzgerald

In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.
- Annette Funicello

My parents were dishonest people. If it was my birthday, I knew my mother took me to the K-Mart and she stole my toy. She'd put it in the shopping cart and we'd walk out. I was raised with that.
- Vincent Gallo

I take four or five heavy steps beyond the front door and Mom comes rushing down the hallway. "Shane! What in the hell-" Now she sees me, in all my dignified glory. I tell her I'm fine. Swear I stuck up for my sister, not an alien but an angel. By the time I get to, "I think I might need stitches," Mom is my mommy. She may have forgotten my birthday. But today she remembers me. (154)
- Ellen Hopkins

Hearing him say it now, that is was my birthday present, touched me in the last place I wanted him to touch me. My heart.
- Jenny Han

On my birthday, I was in Milan for the collections.
- Eva Herzigova

I love having my birthday at Australia Zoo.
- Bindi Irwin

If there's one thing I really want for my birthday, that is for the mining company not to mine my daddy's reserve.
- Bindi Irwin

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
- Guy Johnson

And now," he continued, speaking to Milo, "where were you on the night on July 27?"
What does that have to do with it?" asked Milo.
It's my birthday, that's what," said the policeman as he entered "Forgot my birthday" in his little book. "Boys always forget other people's birthdays.
- Norton Juster

I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, but it had cake all over it so I sent it to be dry cleaned.
- Jarod Kintz

The value of me is equal to 5097033198, but also 3051982. The first is my phone number, and the second is my birthday. I assign values to people. My fifth grade bus driver had a Cheeto factor of four.
- Jarod Kintz

I'm going to wear my birthday suit, even though it barely fits in the middle when I get excited and it stretches out.
- Jarod Kintz

My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me.
- Jarod Kintz

I celebrate my birthday in ways not seen this side of the Old Testament.
- Jarod Kintz

If we could celebrate our birthday on any day of the year, would you choose the one you were born on? I'd be a fool and a liar if I told you I didn't want to celebrate my birthday on April 1st. And you know I'm no liar.
- Jarod Kintz

The event happened on my birthday. I don't remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.
- Jarod Kintz

My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday's coming up, so I'm half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it.
- Jarod Kintz

I want a piece of advice like I want a piece of cakeon my birthday, the year after I've died.
- Jarod Kintz

Ever since the day I came out of the womb, I've had impeccable timing. For example, I somehow managed to be born on the exact day of my birthday. And I wasn't even trying, though my mother did push me along a bit.
- Jarod Kintz

Growing up, my parents never gave me as much as I wanted for my birthday. For example, one year I wanted a yo-yo, and they ended up giving me some wound up string. Gee, thanks, mom.
- Jarod Kintz

I wouldn't want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with the Oscars. That's why I'm having the awards ceremony after we eat cake and I open my presents.
- Jarod Kintz

My girlfriend bought be a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don't get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.
- Jarod Kintz

For my birthday, a few of my wealthier friends got me a pot to piss in. Also, they were kind enough to fill it up with cat litter.
- Jarod Kintz

I don't like to celebrate my birthday, because I don't like taking credit for others' workin this case, my mom and dad. Or possibly my mom and the mailman.
- Jarod Kintz

I'll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th.
- Jarod Kintz

Why celebrate my birthday? My birthday is the product of two people'smy parents'hard work. I can't celebrate what I didn't earn. However, anything I achieved after the day I was born, I'm free to celebrate.
- Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz Dayit's not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that's mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don't. It'll be a holiday that honors freedom.
- Jarod Kintz

I made a t-shirt that says, "Today's my birthday" on it, so that I can ask for hugs from strangers and point to the text on my tee as the reason why they should oblige. It's not a once-a-year t-shirt, as I wear it every Tuesday.
- Jarod Kintz

My birthday is coming up. I was born on March 5th, 1982. Humans have come a long way since thennearly 30 years, if my math is good. And my math better be good, because if my math's no good, what's that leave? I mean aside from English, art, science, social studies, history, geography, P.E., recess, and of course, lunch.
- Jarod Kintz

Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It's open 364 days of the year, and the one day of the year it's closed for cleaning happens to be my birthday.
- Jarod Kintz

On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late!
- Jarod Kintz

Do you need some birthday dick? I once got dick for my birthdaymy first birthday, in fact. That's how they knew I was a boy.
- Jarod Kintz

It's my birthday, who could be calling me? Probably my clone, wondering why he hasn't been born yet.
- Jarod Kintz

Don't invite me to my birthday party until the day after it's happened.
- Jarod Kintz

If this is where you ask me to run around in my birthday suit, I'm not entirely comfortable with that, I said, smirking.
- Laura Kreitzer

My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him.
- Loretta Lynn

I was quite a shy child. I would get terribly nervous and throw up before my birthday party. And then I would be fine. I feel the same now. I get nervous, then it's fine.
- Matthew Macfadyen

All I watch is the Food Network. I took a cheesemaking class a few weeks ago, and I told my family and friends to only get me kitchen stuff on my birthday. I'm into every kind of cookbook and anything by Anthony Bourdain. I'd love to own a restaurant if I could find the right chef.
- Jesse Mccartney

I'm trying to get the record that I made at my birthday party last year, trying to get that out, and the lawyers are diddling around with it and it probably won't be out until next year. I don't know.
- Marian Mcpartland

I am 13 years old, I am 13 stone, I have no money, no friends, and boys throw gravel at me. It's my birthday, and I went to bed at 7.15pm.
- Caitlin Moran

Manchee comes outta the bushes and sits down next to me cuz I've stopped right there in the middle of a trail. He looks around to see what I might be seeing and then he says, "Good poo, Todd."
"I'm sure it was, Manchee."
I'd better not get another ruddy dog when my birthday comes. What I want this year is a hunting knife like the one Ben carries on the back of his belt. Now that's a present for a man.
"Poo," Manchee's says quietly.
- Patrick Ness

Today's my birthday On mans scale 53 is a life more than 1/2 over. On the infinite scale of an eternal being I am just a cell of life that has forever to go!
- Stanley Victor Paskavich

I was fired by 'America's Next Top Model' on my birthday.
- Paulina Porizkova

I used to go to the U.S. Open on my birthdays and sit in the nosebleeds.
- Andy Roddick

When I was little I thought, isn't it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it's July 4th.
- Gloria Stuart

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.
- Johnny Vegas

I lost twins at 14 weeks, and I had to have an D and C on my birthday.
- Amy Weber

I quit high school on my birthday. It was my senior year and I didn't see the point. This was 1962, and I was ready to make music.
- Barry White

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