Funny And Quotes

He was wearing a look that she found odd and compelling - that amusement that didn't seem to pass beyond the surface of his features, as he found everything in the world both infinitely funny and infinitely tragic all at the same time.
- Cassandra Clare

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is a form of service journalism. To be successful, I think it has to be a combination of a good story, it has to be funny, and it also needs to be packed with useful information.
- Ted Allen

Like with Parks and Recreation, it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I've ever had.
- Aziz Ansari

Evan Handler is a man who's looked into the abyss and laughed. His book, It's Only Temporary, made me laugh along with him. He covers love, lust, showbiz, triumph, and despair and he manages to be both funny and inspiring about all of it. It's an important book that I think can help to spread goodness around the world. Something we desperately need.
- Lance Armstrong

Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well.
- Will Arnett

I would do it today because the thing that appealed to me was not necessarily the mechanics of the robot, but it was his personality and how funny and charming he was.
- John Badham

I'm obsessive about the kind of melodrama of getting through the days and trying to make them good and funny and a happy experience. But my feeling towards the fans is that they delivered me from darkness.
- Tom Baker

Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids.
- Jack Black

I'm one of those hovering mothers and I know it's really important to have an independent child, so I'm trying to back off, but it's hard. I love him so much, and he's so funny and cute to me.
- Selma Blair

You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side, they don't like you as much. I find, too, that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny, and you never see the sorrow or the pain.
- Terry Bradshaw

I want to be with you as much as possible, Ronnie. You're smart and funny and you're honest. I trust you. I trust us. Yeah, I'm leaving and you're going back home. But neither of those things changes the way I feel about you. And my feelings aren't going to change simply because I'm going to Vanderbilt. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone.
- Nicholas Sparks

I love everything about Tyler Durden, his courage and his smarts. His nerve. Tyler is funny and charming and forceful and independent, and men look up to him and expect him to change their world. Tyler is capable and free, and I am not.
- Chuck Palahniuk

He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and
occasional y eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define
crazy.
- Rachel Caine

I'm worried he's going to... do something crazy."
"He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Evesaid. "Define crazy."
Claire closed her eyes. "Okay. I think he wants to put my brain in a jar and wire it intothe machine.
- Rachel Caine

I'm worried he's going to...do something crazy."
"He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy."
Claire closed her eyes. "Okay. I think he wants to put my brain in a jar and wire it into the machine."
Dead silence.
- Rachel Caine

I'm worried he's going to... do something crazy."
"He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy.
- Rachel Caine

Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. He is smart, funny, and interesting.
- Tucker Carlson

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
- Jimmy Carr

I play a female Indiana Jones, a professor who hunts down precious objects, like a bowl that belonged to the Buddha. They tailored the role to me: I wanted to be smart, funny, and to kick some ass.
- Tia Carrere

The inventory process and stepping back in your life can sometimes be a very dark process. But it also can be extremely funny and surprising.
- Craig Charles

Those are the only to verbalizations usually that we make in movieseither to scream or to laughbecause those two reactions are rather close. Most things we laugh at are things that are really horrible, when you think about them. It's funny and you don't scream, as long as it's not you. If it's somebody else you can laugh.
- Stephen King

There should be more sincerity and heart in human relations, more silence and simplicity in our interactions. Be rude when you're angry, laugh when something is funny, and answer when you're asked.
- Anton Chekhov

The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic.
- Dominic Chianese

They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be.
- Terry Pratchett

No," he agreed. "You're not. She never caused me this agony."
What could I say to that? The way he was looking at me was making my head feel funny. Was making me feel funny and not just in that oh God I just almost died way.
Christophe leaned in. His mouth was a mere centimetres from me. "She never made me think I would die of heart failure. She never, never made me fear for her this way.
- Lili St Crow

People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player.
- Sheryl Crow

Any instructions?" Carpenter said.
"Yeah," Shane said. "Shoot anybody who looks at Agnes funny. And anybody else you don't like. I'm getting tired of this shi*."
"Somebody needs a hug," Carpenter said.
"Humor," Shane said. "Har.
- Jennifer Crusie

Life is funny and it is interesting how we make it as serious as possible.
- Elisha Cuthbert

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to.
- Paula Danziger

I have a friend who is a funny cook. Her food tastes funny and smells funny
- Haresh Daswani

Evan Handler is not only a fine actor, he's a damn good writer. It's Only Temporary is wise and funny and as righteously indignant as it is endearingly self-effacing. In what may be a literary first, the book actually left me wanting more.
- Meghan Daum

It is so exquisitely funny and sad, the way we view each other; how very little, despite our best efforts, we communicate.
- Luke Davies

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.
- Ellen Degeneres

She's just playing a trick on us. This is just an Alaska Young Prank Extraordinaire. It's Alaska being Alaska, funny and playful and not knowing when or how to put on the brakes.
- John Green

You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually.
- John Green

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.
- Danny Devito

Well, you know, I feel like it's about a lot of things. The reason that I made it was because I thought it was really funny and unique and just a different genre.
- Danny Devito

Rats have a sense of humor. Rats, in fact think the world is very funny. And they are right, dear reader. They are right.
- Kate Dicamillo

But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work.
- Robert Downey Jr

I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny.
- Rachel Dratch

I just think that it's such a good show and timeless and still very funny, and that just makes me happy to have that whole first season in one concentrated space for people to enjoy so that it's not hit and miss trying to find it in syndication always.
- Jenna Elfman

Every so often I would look at my women friends who were happily married and didn't cook, and I would always find myself wondering how they did it. Would anyone love me if I couldn't cook? I always thought cooking was part of the package: Step right up, it's Rachel Samstat, she's bright, she's funny and she can cook!
- Nora Ephron

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.
- Will Ferrell

I had to face the fact that I had been using my gay friends as props. They were always supposed to be funny and entertain me and praise me and listen to my problems, and their life was supposed to be a secret that no one wanted to hear about. I wanted them to stay in the half closet.
- Tina Fey

I can be funny, because I have time to meditate about how to be funny, and I can repair my mistakes when I perform mistakes, and I can be a melancholy person in manners that are interesting, not only melancholy. With writing, we have second chances.
- Jonathan Safran Foer

I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.
- Megan Fox

Between funny and witty
Falls the shadow
- Stephen Fry

Bod quite liked crows. He thought they were funny and he liked the way they helped to keep the graveyard tidy.
- Neil Gaiman

Spider venom comes in many forms. It can often take a long while to discover the full effects of the bite. Naturalists have pondered this for years: there are spiders whose bite can cause the place bitten to rot and to die, sometimes more than a year after it was bitten. As to why spiders do this, the answer is simple. It's because spiders think this is funny, and they don't want you ever to forget them.
- Neil Gaiman

... on the whole I thought I liked having everything very tidy and calm all around me, and not being bothered to do things, and laughing at the kind of joke other people didn't think at all funny, and going for country walks, and not being asked to express opinions about things (like love, and isn't so-and-so peculiar?)
- Stella Gibbons

I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well. I'm just delighted to have this opportunity to be a part of this project.
- Ron Glass

I have never read anything quite like Mark Haddon's funny and agonizingly honest book, or encountered a narrator more vivid and memorable. I advise you to buy two copies; you won't want to lend yours out.
- Arthur Golden

A romantic comedy has to be funny and make you think about life; but the obstacle that has to be overcome is key.
- Jennifer Lopez

I feel like if I'm going to give you a book about my dad, then I really want to give you my dad, because he is interesting and he is funny and if you're buying a book about him, I don't want you to have to sit through stuff that's not him.
- Justin Halpern

As I get older, I'm slowing down and, yes, calming down in my desire to be taken seriously. That I can be entertaining and funny and high nervous energy can work against me as a serious composer, slowly but surely you'll see me be quieter just so that people will listen.
- Marvin Hamlisch

It's both funny and sad which seem to me to be the two basic ingredients of good comedy.
- Tony Hancock

We try to... we are, I suppose to a certain extent all affected and erm, that is both funny and sad I think.
- Tony Hancock

Sukhvinder wished that she could be more like Krystal: funny and tough; impossible to intimidate; always coming out fighting.
- J K Rowling

So, deadpan I think just means not acknowledging for one second that you think that this is funny and clever.
- Patrick Warburton

I think it's great to see how they've grown up, not just as actors but as people. They're still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They've grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They've blossomed.
- David Heyman

Because it's a brilliant Fim. It's funny, and violent, and it's got Harvey Keitel and Tim Roth in it, and everything. And a cracking sound track.
Maybe there's no comparison between Ian sleeping with Laura and Reservoir Dogs after all. Ian hasn't got Harvey Keitel and Tim Roth in him. And Ian's not funny. Or violent. And he's got a crap sound track, judging from what we used to hear through the ceiling. I've taken this as far as it will go.
- Nick Hornby

Because it's a brilliant film. It's funny, and violent, and it's got Harvey Keitel and Tim Roth in it, and everything. And a cracking sound track.
Maybe there's no comparison between Ian sleeping with Laura and Reservoir Dogs after all. Ian hasn't got Harvey Keitel and Tim Roth in him. And Ian's not funny. Or violent. And he's got a crap sound track, judging from what we used to hear through the ceiling. I've taken this as far as it will go.
- Nick Hornby

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
- Eddie Izzard

I always find it kind of embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot, although nobody says anything. You know, they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized.
- Marc Jacobs

I only have three scenes and each is a turn and she gets progressively drunker. It's all terribly funny and its main challenge is that it's so far away from what I usually do.
- Louise Jameson

real teenage boys aren't like characters in the books you read. They smell funny and are obsessed with video games and say dumb things.
- Stacey Jay

Sex is funny and love is serious.
- Stephan Jenkins

I think Janeane Garofalo is incredibly funny, and I love Dennis Miller.
- Kristen Johnston

I think you're funny, and the toilet sounds like a soda can opening when it flushes. It's a diet soda, so it's less filling and more fattening.
- Jarod Kintz

Something can be humorous without being funny. The difference is when it's humorous, a person says, "That's funny," and when it's funny, a person can't say anything because they're too busy laughing.
- Jarod Kintz

It used to be that you had to make female TV characters perfect so no one would be offended by your 'portrayal' of women. Even when I started out on 'The Office' eight years ago, we could write our male characters funny and flawed, but not the women. And now, thankfully, it's completely different.
- Mindy Kaling

I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people.
- Kesha

That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
- Jimmy Kimmel

Dad, I'll never do any better. He's smart and funny and good-looking.."
Stephanie," he took both my hands, "how could you do any worse?"
Best rhetorical question ever.
- Stephanie Klein

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.
- Colin Quinn

It's a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. It's funny and accessible.
- Johnny Knoxville

I'm the youngest in my family, and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh.
- Lisa Kudrow

I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I'm annoying, and a phony.
- Anne Lamott

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.
- Carol Leifer

We went through all the scenes and they became kind of funny and they expanded a little bit and because it seemed to be working so well in the movie, they added a couple of things later on in the movie and that's how it turned out.
- Eugene Levy

You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.
- Rush Limbaugh

I don't write literary fiction - I write books that are entertaining, but are also, I hope, well-constructed and thoughtful and funny and have things to say about men and women and families and children and life in America today.
- Jennifer Weiner

It's fun to do something funny and have the director laughing. It makes you feel good.
- Jon Lovitz

People like her because she's like a breath of fresh air. Because in the fifth book it gets so dark and Harry's always cross and then every time Luna comes in all the tension goes and she makes you laugh because she's so funny and really honest. I don't know how much I'm like her, there are some similarities but I'm more determined than her.
- Evanna Lynch

Sometimes, the other characters are too normal and then you start to be brought back to reality but then Luna shows up and she is just so funny and cool and honest and slightly mad and she's all that matters. She is 100% true. She puts on no shows, because she is so comfortable with herself.
- Evanna Lynch

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
- Paul Lynde

We sat down and told stories that happened to us in our childhood, to our children. They were all basically based on the truth. These stories were funny and poignant to us. They just took off. These are all stories from my life.
- Howie Mandel

He took in the squeaky music, the vulgar and pining melodies, because passion immobilizes good taste and seriously considers what soberly would be thought of as funny and to be resented.
- Thomas Mann

Seeing people get messed up never gets un-funny! And there's plenty of ways to do that.
- Bam Margera

This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me.' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man.' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible.
- Rory Mcilroy

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?
- Paul Merton

The worst of being a Communist is the parties you may go to are - well - awfully funny and touching but not very gay...I don't see the point of sad parties, do you? And Left-wing people are always sad because they mind dreadfully about their causes, and the causes are always going so badly.
- Nancy Mitford

Point is, maybe some people wouldn't wan to be around me all day, but there are people out there who would. And they're smart and funny. And they like some of the same things I like and hate some of the things I hate, but they also introduce me to all kinds of new things. That's as close to 'meant to be' as I can imagine.
- Lauren Morrill

It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time.
- Olivia Munn

My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly.
- Mike Myers

More real, more there, like it's just the most incredible thing in the world that we're both still alive and I feel my chest get all funny and tight and I think, Here she is, right here, my Viola, she came for me, she's here-
And I find myself thinking how I want to take her hand again and never let it go, to feel the skin of it, the warmth of it, hold it tight against my own hand..
- Patrick Ness

You know what I can't understand? You have all these people telling you all the time how great you are, smart and funny and talented and all that, I mean endlessly, I've been telling you for years. So why don't you believe it?
- David Nicholls

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.
- Denis Norden

With Jerry Bruckheimer, you know you'll get your money's worth. You're getting huge action sequences, it's going to be funny, and you know it's going to look great.
- Jerry Oconnell

I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself.
- Shaquille Oneal

Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period.
- Patton Oswalt

I'm not the girl men chose.
I'm the girl who's charming and funny and then drives home wondering what she did wrong. I'm the girl who meets someone halfway decent and then fills in the gaps in his character with my own imagination, only to be shocked when he's not the man I thought he was.
I'm the girl who hides who she really is for fear I'll fall short.
- Liza Palmer

But no one believes in that way what he reads in a novel...Oh yes they do. If only to see themselves as wise and superior and humanistic, they need to think of us as sweet and funny, and convince themselves that they sympathize with the way we are and even love us.
- Orhan Pamuk

In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.
- Rosie Perez

Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
- Matthew Perry

From Kelsey, I have learned among many other things the value of turning on a dime and how you can have an extremely funny and extremely poignant moment with absolutely no separation in between... and sometimes in the same moment.
- David Hyde Pierce

I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too.
- Laura Prepon

I touched the small sacred images. I shook my head and bit my lip, as if to say, How awful that he should have stolen these! But I also found it very funny. And further proof that God had no power over me.
- Anne Rice

I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good.
- Andy Richter

I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.
- Kelly Ripa

When you have an entire amphitheatre of people laughing that way, it makes you feel so funny and it frees you to go further than you probably would.
- Kelly Ripa

How's it going down there?"
"It's weird. They're too polite, they talk funny, and stuff has too much shine on it. But the coffee's worse than Central's, so that's something.
- J D Robb

Sylvester Stallone is very funny and he's a great guy to hang out with.
- Eric Roberts

The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.
- Joe Rogan

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
- Mark Russell

'Dear Mr. Argeneau,'" she began. " 'I haven't read Love Bites, One, but I will, I guarantee it. I just finished Love Bites, Two, and thought it was wonderful. Etienne was so sweet and funny and sexy that I fell in love with him even as Rachel did. He's my dream man.'" Kate paused and glanced up expectantly. "What would you say to those letters?"
That was easy enough. "Etienne is taken."
-Kate and Lucern
- Lynsay Sands

Well, I did Marlene 15 years ago and that's in the style. It's somehow similar and not similar because Marlene was much more aggressive, funny and sad.
- Maximilian Schell

People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart.
- Howard Simons

Sometimes I want to do something that's really funny and other times I read an indie script that is going to be made for nothing but I want to do it because I think that I can connect with something in the story.
- Brittany Snow

Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.
- Ben Stein

Very often, I don't make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises.
- David Ogden Stiers

My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic.
- Eric Stonestreet

In fiction, I searched for my favorite authors, women I have trusted to reassure me than not all teenage guys are total ditwads, that the archetype of the noble cute hero who devotes himself to the girl he loves has not gone the way of the rotary phone. That all I had to do was be myself (smart, hardworking, funny) and be patient and kind and he and I would find each other.
As Bea would say, this why they call it fiction.
- Sarah Strohmeyer

I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film.
- Hilary Swank

You know, in high school I thought Catholicism was funny and sort of ridiculous, but then I also liked it, too. Like, I definitely turned to it in times of trouble.
- Julia Sweeney

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
- Wanda Sykes

What's it like to be that goofy little soldier, scared stiff, with his bayonet aimed at Christ? What's it like to have been a woman in a defense-plant job during World War II? What's it like to be a kid at the front lines? It's all funny and tragic at the same time
- Studs Terkel

Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.
- Billy Bob Thornton

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful.
- Francois Truffaut

Ethan was loyal and funny and protective. When we were little, he was the brother most likely to make me cryand mostly likely to wipe away my tears.
- Rachel Vincent

I like you a lot. Because you're funny and smart and because you seem to like me. I know that's not a good reason, but I can't help it; if a girl likes me I tend to like her back I like you for all this stuff but I also kind of like you for the cuts on your face
- Ned Vizzini

The whole thing reminds me of graduate school seminars, except these people are smart and funny and have something interesting to say.
- Sarah Vowell

Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well.
- Tom Waits

I never know when I am being funny, and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny.
- Christopher Walken

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary.
- Christopher Walken

I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not.
- Keenen Ivory Wayans

Robert Altman's 'Nashville' is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining.
- Douglas Wood

I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.
- Steve Zahn

I've always thought those guys are really funny. And I love Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin and Mary.
- David Zucker

I think that came out of watching all those serious movies for all that time. If you watch a movie like Zero Hour, Sterling Hayden is pretty funny, and so are the guys in the cockpit.
- David Zucker