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Candy Bar Quotes

The distance to the corner shops of childhood becomes unfathomable, immeasurable; the candy bars have changed. And change has changed.
- Ilse Aichinger

You're not looking for a partner," Ranger said. "You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar?"
"Everything," I said. "I just ate everything.
- Janet Evanovich

Hey, don't apologize. We all have shit to deal with. I have the same reaction sometimes, too. (Syn)
I find that hard to believe. (Shahara)
It's true. You ever want to see me really wig out? Hand me a candy bar. (Syn)
- Sherrilyn Kenyon

Years are like candy bars... We're paying more, but they're getting shorter.
- Charles M Schulz

Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.
- Glenn Beck

I like crazy, childlike, candy bar-filled cakes with gooey caramel, chocolate-covered nuts, marshmallows, and the like.
- Ron Benisrael

I remembered my New
Orleans days, living on two five-cent candy bars a day for weeks at a time in order to have leisure to
write. But starvation, unfortunately, didn't improve art. It only hindered it. A man's soul was rooted in
his stomach. A man could write much better after eating a porterhouse steak and drinking a pint of
whiskey than he could ever write after eating a nickel candy bar. The myth of the starving artist was a
hoax.
- Charles Bukowski

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
- George Carlin

You know what I do? I steal things. Fuck 'em! I grab a handful of candy bars and six magazines and head for the gate.
- George Carlin

Could he be walking in circles? Maybe he would just walk and walk and walk until the warmers and the candy bars ran out and then sit down and never get up again.
- Neil Gaiman

Well, let's see, I found out Pagan has low blood sugar and becomes a complete b--witch if she doesn't eat a candy bar during a stressful moment.
- Abbi Glines

Any good Irwin can make going to the corner store for a candy bar and a Coke lood death defying and suicidal.
- Mira Grant

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
- Mitch Hedberg

If I took a candy bar, ripped off the wrapper, ate the candy bar, and pinned the wrapper to the wall, is that art, performance art, both, or neither?
- Jarod Kintz

My first and last name is like a candy bar in your mouth that you can chew on as you say it.
- Jarod Kintz

I thought I was eating a candy bar, but it turned out to be a yummy burrito. I was both disappointed and appointed at the same time.
- Jarod Kintz

I'd run 26.2 miles to eat a Marathon candy bar.
- Jarod Kintz

Social progress: for the same price as last year, I get a slimmer candy bar, less chips per bag, and I have to walk a little further to work, because to spend the same amount on gas I have to continuously park farther and farther away from the building.
- Jarod Kintz

Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th candy bar a man on the bench across from him said Son you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne rot your teeth and make you fat.
Little Tony replied My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.
The man asked Did you grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time
Little Tony answered No he minded his own fucking business.
- Robert Anton Wilson

After watching my first World Series in 1977, I wanted to be Reggie Jackson. I bought a big Reggie poster. I ate Reggie candy bars. I entered a phase during which I insisted on having the same style of glasses Reggie had: gold wire frames with the double bar across.
- Eric Liu

No candy bars unless I've had a low blood sugar where I'm shaky.
- Mary Tyler Moore

The glass door swung open and two big, homely women walked in looking guilty. They were the kind of women who, out of sheer loneliness, end up doing kinky stuff with candy bars and wake up with apple fritters in their hair.
- Donald Ray Pollock

Stripping is not a fair or unbiased career field. Your body and looks are your livelihood. Once those two things go, it's only a matter of time before you punch your last T and A ticket and Erica's stub was wilting faster than a golden wrapped candy bar that would gain her admittance into the chocolate factory.
- J A Saare

When a hurricane damaged my father's house, my brother rushed over with a gas grill, three coolers of beer, and an enormous Fuck-It Bucket - a plastic pail filled with jawbreakers and bite-size candy bars. ("When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it,' and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.")
- David Sedaris

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