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Daily Mail Quotes

Politicians are just Daily Mail journalists writ large, aren't they? They're always telling us what's going to happen, and we know they don't know!
- Tom Baker

3 people get stranded on a remote Island
A Banker, a Daily Mail reader & an Asylum seeker
All they have to eat is a box of 10 Mars bars
The Banker says "Because of my expertise in asset management, I''ll look after our resources"
The other 2 agree
So the Banker opens the box, gobbles down 9 of the Mars bars and hands the last one to the Daily Mail reader
He then says " I'd keep an eye on that Asylum seeker, he's after your Mars Bar
- Christopher Brookmyre

Mr. Beresford put down the Daily Mail, which he was reading, and applauded with somewhat unnecessary vigour. He was politely requested by his colleague not to be an ass.
- Agatha Christie

The Daily Mail can't say 'asylum-seeker' without saying 'foreign criminal' in the same sentence. I'm sure it's practically editorial policy.
- Chris Cleave

How can one not be fond of something that the Daily Mail despises?
- Stephen Fry

Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural England hosting a party like this? A party? In a school? With children present? Where marijuana is openly smoked? And comdoms are given away at the door?Imagine the headlines! How much would the Daily Mail hate this? How much would the Daily Mail love to hate this?!
- Dave Gorman

I am sick of reading on Daily Mail message boards that I am 'one of these foul-mouthed modern comedians' when I am absolutely not. Honestly, who are these cunts?
- Stewart Lee

I started on the fringes of journalism as a cartoonist on The Daily Mail.
- Humphrey Lyttelton

But I had to think to myself that this was normal, because that was the attitude. I was 19 when I went to see my doctor and I was told it was all in the mind.
[Author Hilary Mantel on being told her endometriosis was imagined pain, From Oct 2009 Daily Mail interview]
- Hilary Mantel

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