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My Boss Quotes

Clearly the Secretary of Defense, my boss, would like nothing better than to get Osama bin Laden and to get... to ensure the complete defeat of al-Qaida, because we know that al-Qaida is planning operations against the United States even as we speak here.
- John Abizaid

....And then you get some jerk for a boss. And you think, 'I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome. He wouldn't care about my sales sheet. He would care about my soul sheet.' Then you feel a little embarrassed because that was such a low-quality joke.
- Jonathan Acuff

I would figure out, later, how to explain to my boss that, for me, Delia will never be a story, but a happy ending.
- Jodi Picoult

You're telling me that Acheron, my boss, the really tall Atlantean pain in most of our asses, actually authorized the killing of a human?" Sundown
"I can see your confusion. It is highly out of character for him. But since she's been killing off Hunters...I guess he figures it's tit for tat. Or maybe he's just having a really bad day." Zarek
- Sherrilyn Kenyon

Well, what I tried to do is to just listen to my voice, because my voice is my boss. She decides.
- Cecilia Bartoli

About my boss, Tyler tells me, if I'm really angry, I should go to the post office and fill out a change-of-address card and have all his mail forwarded to Rugby, North Dakota.
- Chuck Palahniuk

Who's Myrnin?"
Claire controlled an urge to roll her eyes. "Badass crazy vampire scientist who's my boss."
"You realize no part of that sentence made sense, right?
- Rachel Caine

I'm not taking maternity leave from 'Big Brother.' I e-mailed my boss over there this weekend and I said, 'Don't worry. I can still do the show!
- Julie Chen

I didn't view myself as attacking the boss. I viewed my boss at ESPN as the publisher and president of ESPN.
- Gregg Easterbrook

You're not my boss, Alan. He returned to his game. Honestly, my first instinct was to smack the kid, but i doubted that would fly with his parents.
- Richard Paul Evans

I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets... then I got to 'Saturday Night Live' where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I'm going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I'm gonna go sit with.
- Jimmy Fallon

I said that additionally, since I was planning to nurse, it be best if you were off the breast before I came back to work.
My boss just looked at me dreamily and said, 'That won't be for sixty years, at least.
- Suzanne Finnamore

I had three stages of knowing Wellington Mara. He was my boss for a long time and he was a father figure. And finally, as we got older, he was my friend.
- Frank Gifford

I think it would be rewarding to be a professional non-thinker, because I'm always trying to do the exact opposite of work. So I might as well spend eight hours a day deep in thought. Plus, I think it would be marvelous to hear my boss scream, What are you doing thinking? Get back to work.
- Jarod Kintz

My favorite smells are freshly baked bread, the pages of an old book, and they way my boss' ass smells when he's shouting at me.
- Jarod Kintz

Like a gun with two triggers, I want my boss to fire me with his middle finger.
- Jarod Kintz

The lunchmeat fell on the floor, and I didn't know what to do, so I wiped it off on the bottom of my shoe and served it to my boss. Ah, but that's life, no?
- Jarod Kintz

I can guess which car my boss drives. I'll just look for the one with the hole in the back, like an asshole.
- Jarod Kintz

If I were a taxi cab driver, as lots of writers supposedly are, and my boss were to tell me that I couldn't read on the job, I'd obediently go around running every STOP sign.
- Jarod Kintz

I gave him a pet name, even though he wasn't my pet, he was my boss. I don't know why he fired me. I thought "Dick Nose" was a delightfully cute name.
- Jarod Kintz

I got tapped for the job position. As soon as I felt it on my shoulder, I turned around and my boss told me.
- Jarod Kintz

Twitter is so short, it's safe. I don't want my bosses to be like, 'Hey, your script is due and we saw you wrote four blog pages.'
- Mindy Kaling

That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
- Jimmy Kimmel

Well, I think we just had a date," he answers quietly; then, frowning, adds, "At least I think that's what it was. I told my boss I had a date. Hope that's okay?
God, could he be any more adorable? Could he?
- Deidre Knight

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.
- Artie Lange

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
- Jay London

When I was a young prosecutor, I got called to testify against my boss. I could have backed down, but I didn't. I stood up to him. And he fired me for it.
- Susana Martinez

I've had a few intense arguments with my boss who happens to be the object of my sexual fantasies.
- J L Mccoy

I suppose it was a mistake to sketch in a background for the movie, in which I described a likely mix of people in a late-Roman settlement, amongst them people from Africa and the Near East. 'You mean they had black people back then!' was actually what my boss exclaimed when he read that. 'Could Lancelot's sidekick be black?
- Michael Moorcock

So you're my boss now," I snap.
"Technically, I'm you're boss's boss's boss."
"And technically, it's gross moral turpitude- the fact that i am fucking my boss's boss's boss."
"At the moment, you're arguing with him." Christian scowls.
- James E Rogers

My boss is like an angry bear with a sore head and poison ivy up his ass.
- James E Rogers

See, ma'am, frankly speaking this problem can't be solved by us police or military. The problem with these tribals is they don't understand greed. Unless they become greedy there's no hope for us. I have told my boss, remove the force and instead put a TV in every home. Everything will be automatically sorted out.
- Arundhati Roy

What about you? If I asked you... would you turn me?"
Faith's eyes went wide. "Turn you into a vampire?"
"No, turn me into a frog. Could you do it?"
Faith finished her beer in one long swallow. "I might be able to, physically. But I wouldn't."
Miranda had known she would say that, but still, her heart sank. "Why not?"
She laughed. "Because my boss would kill me.
- Dianne Sylvan

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