My Cat Quotes

If you lay one hand on Simon, vampire, I'll have you chopped up into tiny pieces and fed to my cat. Understand?
- Cassandra Clare

She set you down on the floor and you started ranging around, picking things up, pulling my cats tail- you screamed like a banshee when the cat scratched you, so I asked your mother if you were part banshee. She didn't laugh.
-Magnus to Clary, pg.228-
- Cassandra Clare

The Chairman likes you."
"Is that good?"
"I never date anyone my cat doesn't like," Magnus said easily, and stood up.
- Cassandra Clare

You like the party?"
"Is it in honor of anything?"
"My cat's birthday."
"Oh." She glanced around. "Where's your cat?"
"I dont know. He ran away."
-Magnus & Clary, pg.221-
- Cassandra Clare

She unwrapped the blanket when she came in my door. You were inside it. She set you down on the floor and you started ranging around, picking things up, pulling my cat's tailyou screamed like a banshee when the cat scratched you, so I asked your mother if you were part banshee. She didn't laugh.
- Cassandra Clare

I take care of my flowers and my cats. And enjoy food. And that's living.
- Ursula Andress

Wiggles hissed as I crossed the floor toward the throne. She fixed me with her empty hateful eyes and smelled the air, her long tongue shivering
through the slit of the lipless mouth. Nice to see you too, sweetheart. Remember my cattle prod?
- Ilona Andrews

I always thought I was going to end up an old spinster, with my cats and fur coats.
- Gemma Arterton

You call my cat Princess Fancy Pants, Ace, we got problems.
- Kristen Ashley

She doesn't look like a Buster," I declared, "more like a Princess Fancy Pants."
Tate was bent and pulling a skilled out of a cupboard. His head tipped back and his eyes locked on mine.
"You call my cat Princess Fancy Pants, Ace, we got problems.
- Kristen Ashley

I really had no control over my cat. Hell, who actually had control over any cat?
- P C Cast

My cat is not insane, she's just a really good actress.
- P C Cast

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans.
- Kelli Jae Baeli

I am a complete slave to vocabulary, I ought to have named my cat Roget.
- Muriel Barbery

From CATS ARE KIND
A man said to the universe,
'Sir, I exist!'
'Excellent,' replied the universe,
'I've been looking for someone to take care of my cats.
- Henry N Beard

I have to spring a cat out of Rumelt Animal Shelter. Think of it as a prison break."
It does the trick. He laughs. "Whose cat?"
"My cat. What do you think? That I break out the cats of strangers?"
"Let me guess, she was framed. She's innocent.
- Holly Black

You fuck - you ate my cat!
- Kendare Blake

You ****- you ate my cat!
- Kendare Blake

I live myself with my cat Pebbles. She isn't enjoying the attention as much as me - she ran off up the stairs as soon as the film crew for the show came into the house. She didn't come down for hours. But I have the support of all my brothers and sisters and my neighbours and friends - everyone thinks it's just great.
- Susan Boyle

when I am feeling
low
all i have to do is
watch my cats
and my
courage
returns
- Charles Bukowski

Who are you and why are you my cat?
- Rick Riordan

It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.
- Anthony Burgess

There may be people who like centipedes... Personally, I would regard such an individual with deep suspicion. I have just petted my cat: "And how is this good little cat beast?" Now what sort of man or woman or monster would stroke a centipede on his underbelly? "And here is my good big centipede!" If such a man exists, I say kill him without more ado. He is a traitor to the human race.
- William S Burroughs

And there are my cats, engaged in a ritual that goes back thousands of years, tranquilly licking themselves after the meal. Practical animals, they prefer to have others provide the food... some of them do. There must have been a split between the cats who accepted domestication and those who did not.
- William S Burroughs

I tell students, when in doubt, to title their story after the smallest concrete object in their story. I warn them off plays on words, ('The Rent Also Rises'--no; 'Life in My Cat House'--no) and no grand reaches, either. 'Reverence,' 'Respect,' 'Regret,' 'Greed,' 'Adventure,' 'Retribution.' And never use the worst title of all time, 'The Gift,' a story I read six times a year.
- Ron Carlson

What cat? Oh! MY CAT. The cat... that is mine. Oh, she's... " I had said it was a she, right? "She's fine. All meowing and purring and other cat things.
- Cora Carmack

Darius didn't have any trouble finding the Street Cats building. It was a cozy-looking square brick building with big front windows crowded with cat stuff. I made a mental note to pick up a little something for Nala from their gift shop. My cat was grumpy enough without her thinking that I'd been cheating on her (translation: I would smell like a zillion other cats) and hadn't even brought her a present.
- Kristin Cast

I don't want Church to be like all those dead pets! she burst out, suddenly tearful and furious. I don't want Church to ever be dead! He's my cat! He's not God's cat! Let God have all the damn old cats He wants, and kill them all! Church is mine!
- Stephen King

I had learned that a dexterous, opposable thumb stood among the hallmarks of human success. We had maintained, even exaggerated, this important flexibility of our primate forebears, while most mammals had sacrificed it in specializing their digits. Carnivores run, stab, and scratch. My cat may manipulate me psychologically, but he'll never type or play the piano.
- Stephen Jay Gould

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web... Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J Clinton

Just watching my cats can make me happy.
- Paula Cole

Then, bidding farewell to The Knick-Knack, I went to collect the few personal belongings which, at that time, I held to be invaluable: my cat, my resolve to travel, and my solitude.
- Colette

Unfortunately, when someone asks me for a favor, I can't say no. Because of my upbringing - my Catholic guilt - if I don't do it, it plagues me.
- Bradley Cooper

That was my cathartic moment - when I realized humans have difficulty believing in themselves, but if someone believes in them, they can accomplish anything.
- Sean Delauder

I shall have twenty cats and talk to them all," she said, picking up the volume of poetry. "My cats and I shall have fish every day for dinner." Her imagination taking flight, she finished, dropping the book into the box, "And I shall memorize every line in this book and paint it in calligraphy on my living room walls.
- Regina Doman

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.
- Michel De Montaigne

One of my cats reminds me of my mother. I pat my mother in her. Reincarnation of evaporated mother.
- Lucy Ellmann

I lie around the floor with my cats Billy and Jazz or watch DVDs with my best friends.
- Cathy Freeman

I love cats. I have a lot of cat tales, ha ha, so to speak. A lot of my cats come to me. They show up at my house. I'm kind of a cat lady that way.
- Gina Gershon

I think smart is sexy. I like smart people. People that are comfortable with themselves I think is very sexy. My cat is really sexy.
- Gina Gershon

There is no such thing as pure good or pure evil, least of all in people. In the best of us there are thoughts or deeds that are wicked, and in the worst of us, at least some virtue. An adversary is not one who does loathsome acts for their own sake. He always has a reason that to him is justification. My cat eats mice. Does that make him bad? I don't think so, and the cat doesn't think so, but I would bet the mice have a different opinion.
- Terry Goodkind

Prose books are the show dogs I breed and sell to support my cat.
- Robert Graves

Don't you listen to them, Rexy," I cooed, and the cat sniffed my nose. "Rachel is a smart girl. She's not going to go out with a ghost no matter how sexy he is. She knows better. Jenkskie wenskie can just get bent." I beamed at Jenks, and he made an ugly face. "Rache, put my cat down before you mess with her kitty brain.
- Kim Harrison

I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn't have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing, I ended up waking it up.
- Jarod Kintz

When he misbehaves, I'll clap and then point at my cat, as if transmitting the sting of the slap towards him in punishment.
- Jarod Kintz

Somebody needs to pet me, and I guess that somebody is me. My cat is busy sleeping.
- Jarod Kintz

My cat's favorite chew toy is a pen. I'd wager that he is a better writer than me.
- Jarod Kintz

I was so offended I wanted to light his face on fire. But I restrained myself, because he was wearing my cat on his head.
- Jarod Kintz

I've got hair in my mouth, because I replaced my teeth with my cat. This makes it more fun to pet my gums.
- Jarod Kintz

Every time I see my cat licking its asshole I think about my ex wife. But that's how nostalgia works, right? We only remember the best of the available memories.
- Jarod Kintz

I'm trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?
- Jarod Kintz

I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I can't go anywhere. Maybe I'll try to coax my cat off my lap so I can get up and move.
- Jarod Kintz

I yelled at my cat to knock it off, and sure enough, he did. And it broke.
- Jarod Kintz

I watch baseball on TV like my cat watches the window. Somebody open the blinds so we can see better!
- Jarod Kintz

Just got done giving my cat a haircut and eating dinner. The two events are unrelated, though I might cough up a hairball later on.
- Jarod Kintz

I feel self-conscious calling my cat fat in front of a fat person, considering I'm skinny and inconsiderate.
- Jarod Kintz

My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that's life, no?
- Jarod Kintz

Yesterday I complained of chest pains. My cat scratched my nipples.
- Jarod Kintz

There are whiskers in my soup, and my spoon smells like my cat's ass.
- Jarod Kintz

One of the things you never want to be in this life is boring. But once, sad to say, I put my cat to sleep.
- Jarod Kintz

My name is Two Dogs Wink While Chewing. It's not an Indian name, nor one that reflects my cat-loving nature.
- Jarod Kintz

My name is Meow. At least that's what my cat calls me. But you can call me after nine.
- Jarod Kintz

The clouds blanketed the city, and the rain sounded like bricks hitting the roof. I hope my cat's not still sleeping up there.
- Jarod Kintz

I went on a road trip with my cat, Cap'n. I would have let him drive, but he was drunk.
- Jarod Kintz

My cat's name is Mr. Dog, and My penis' name is Mr. Beaver. Ah, but that's life, no?
- Jarod Kintz

My writing, it's all I have. Well, aside from my health. And shelter, food, and clothing. Oh, and my cat.
- Jarod Kintz

I'm growing a love seat in my heart. It's leather and covered in fur, from a mix up with my cat's back, some glue, my tongue, and my confusion over how to best clean the chair.
- Jarod Kintz

My cat will love you more than me. He won't love you more than he loves me, but he will love you more than I love you.
- Jarod Kintz

My fur coat is still wet, not from the rain, but from where my cat was licking it. Well, my future fur coat. I have yet to kill and skin it.
- Jarod Kintz

When someone tells me they don't read, I like to walk up to them and stroke their hair, pet it really, because you know who also doesn't read? My cat. In essence, these people are pitiful, and no better than pets.
- Jarod Kintz

The Dreamfence
kittens wait to jump into my dreams
each time I visit heaven
they jump over a dreamfence
red clouds are ready for loving
as I love
my love paints my cats
our minds are somehow stuck together
as we dream together
of our own heaven
amd after tjeu cir; i[
inside my sweater
we knit our own heavens.
- Akiane Kramarik

"Like is a mild sort of word for what Con and I have," Collin replied, leaning forward to touch noses with the big doofus. Constantine half-closed his eyes and twitched his whiskers back. "Id go with the deeply twisted interpersonal relationship that a hero has for his nemesis, sort of a Batman/Joker thing, if the Joker suddenly started going down on Batman like a porn-star on Viagra."
Jeff looked at him in alarm. "Jesus, Sparky, stop touching my cat!
- Amy Lane

Through all this horror my cat stalked unperturbed. Once I saw him monstrously perched atop a mountain of bones, and wondered at the secrets that might lie behind his yellow eyes.
- H P Lovecraft

My cats - I have Luna who's just had kittens recently and we called one of them Dumbledore. They're nice but they're not like their characters.
- Evanna Lynch

I just gave my cat a bath. Now how do I get all this fur off my tounge?
- Steve Martin

I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..
- Steve Martin

Everyone thinks I named my cat Mango because of his orange eyes, but that's not the case. I named him Mango because the sounds of his purrs and his wheezes and his meows are all various shades of yellow-orange.
- Wendy Mass

It's great to be recognized when I'm looking for a table at a crowded restaurant, but I still don't put it to best use. I'm such a lump. I won't cut the line. It's my Catholic guilt. I gotta get used to it.
- Christopher Meloni

I actually work at my craft, and I actually want to be the best in my category, and I want to be a true actress. And a lot of people just want fame, and there's a huge difference.
- Chloe Moretz

You should have seen me in my Catholic school girl skirt with my knees knocking together.
- Jodi Lyn Okeefe

It's the way you look whenever she mentions her fiance. My cat looks like that before he hacks up a hairball.
- Kenneth Oppel

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Do you have my pussy? Oh God, cat!
Do you have my cat?
- M A Stacie

Why not share with the world the way it is and tell them my feelings about my cat, and how I played with my kids, and how addicted to Christmas time I am, and the smell of pine needles and hearing my kids laugh.
- Steven Tyler

Very well." The Red Wind shrugged, turning the pistol handles toward her. It didn't matter a whit to the Wind who did the deed, as long as it was done. She seemed to look at September fully for the first time. "You know, I do believe that's my coat," she mused. "And that is most certainly my cat."
Iago roareda roar of love and remembering and recognition and regret. He did not leave the Marquess's side, but the roar said that he was sorry about it.
- Catherynne M Valente

Actually, writers have no business writing about their own works. They either wax conceited, saying things like: 'My brilliance is possibly most apparent in my dazzling short story, "The Cookiepants Hypotenuse."' Or else they get unbearably cutesy: 'My cat Ootsywootums has given me all my best ideas, hasn't oo, squeezums?
- Connie Willis