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My Condolences Quotes

Nurse: "You look like a pharmaceutical rep. you can leave samples in the closet."
Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences.
- Jodi Picoult

If your favorite politician got ran over by a bus, I'd express my condolences by telling you I know how you feel. Why just the other day I ran over a rat, and I felt so guilty about it that I bought a whole gallon of ice cream, rather than just the normal two scoops I usually get on the cone.
- Jarod Kintz

I've shortened this sentence's length, in order to reduce the need for it. I've also shortened my penis (as impossible as that sounds), in order to reduce your reliance on it. Please accept my condolences, and this vibrating piece of rubber.
- Jarod Kintz

I am to be converted to the joys of knitting,' said Mrs. Ali, smiling at the Major.
'My condolences,' he said.
- Helen Simonson

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