Jokes About Quotes

And spare me the jokes about scoring."
"Dammit, woman, you read my mind," he said. "Is there no filthy wordplay you can't forsee?"
"It's my special magical power. I can read your mind when you're thinking dirty thoughts."
"So, ninety-five percent of the time.
- Cassandra Clare

The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
- Heywood Broun

All the jokes about men sitting down on their hats are really theological jokes; they are concerned with the Dual Nature of Man. They refer to the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy.
- Gilbert K Chesterton

Death isn't funny."
"Then why are there so many jokes about death? Jill, with us us humans death is so sad that we must laugh at it.
- Robert A Heinlein

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
- Paula Deen

Can anything be more disgusting than to hear people called 'educated' making small jokes about eating ham, and showing themselves empty of any real knowledge as to the relation of their own social and religious life to the history of the people they think themselves witty in insulting? The best thing that can be said of it is, that it is a sign of the intellectual narrownessin plain English, the stupidity which is still the average mark of our culture.
- George Eliot

Shakespeare drew a map of the human mind as clearly as Newton mapped the heavens. Wht is one considered science and the other fir only to be mocked with jokes about pretty girls and drury lane?
- Sebastian Faulks

Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.
- Jim Fowler

But a system made secure by the protective plating of humor and pretense always runs the risk of having its protection get out of hand. A relationship based on jokes invites jokes; jokes about anything -- and jokes about anything are now and then bound to cut too close to the truth.
- Ken Kesey

People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off.
- Sanaa Lathan

Don't make jokes about food.
- David Lean

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
- Dolly Parton

I've never had sex. Never wanted to. Not with a man or a woman or an animal, though my family jokes about it. And I never will. The thought of it disgusts me.
- Marie Phillips

It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.
- Mo Rocca

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
- Mark Russell

I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day.
- Seann William Scott

I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families.
- Maria Shriver

Every time we make jokes about how jologs someone's school is, we are not insulting the poor student's intellectual abilities but their parents' financial capacity.
- Lourd Ernest H De Veyra

Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
- Carey Williams