During the night two porpoises came around the boat and he could hear them rolling and blowing. He could tell the difference between the blowing noise the male made and the sighing blow of the female.
'They are good,' he said. 'They play and make jokes and love one another. They are our brothers like the flying fish.
- Ernest Hemingway
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
- Fred Allen
Bathroom, huh? OK.' she tittered nervously. 'I'll carry you. Just don't pee on me.'
Helen laughed gratefully. Aridane was making an embarrassing situation as humorous as possible so Helen would feel more comfortable.
It was something Claire would have done. Helen was still embarrassed, but with a few jokes and little bit of tact they both made it through.
- Josephine Angelini
Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well.
- Will Arnett
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
- Rita Rudner
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
- Lemony Snicket
There have been some very extreme hecklers in audiences whose bile was so hateful and so meant that it would be a bit frightening to think that all I'm doing is jokes and yet someone hates me that much.
- Jo Brand
But I love to drink. I can't help it. I mean, I love it Bryson-love the taste, love that buzz you get when you've had a couple, love the smell and feel of the taverns. I miss dirty jokes and the click of pool balls in the background, and that kind of bluish, under lit glow of a bar at night.
- Bill Bryson
Sorrow comes with so many defense mechanisms. You have your shock, your
denial, your getting wasted, your cracking jokes, and your religion. You also
have the old standby catchallthe blind belief in fate, the whole "things
happening for a reason" drill.
- Emily Giffin
My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies.
- Gilbert K Chesterton
Nobody was perfect. Not even close. And everybody had wrinkles from smiling and squinting and craining their necks. Everybody has marks on their bodies from years of living- a trail of life left on them. Evidence of all the adventures and sleepless nights and practical jokes and heartbreaks that had made them who they are.
- Katherine Center
It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.
- Brian P Cleary
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
- Robert Collier
What's painful is that what you had together, all your inside jokes and favorite restaurants and that movie you both loved but everyone else hatedthat's gone, and there's no replacement for it, you never replicate it, never get to have it ever again...
- Kim Culbertson
When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
- Evan Dando
The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and will die of sexual exertions in the arms of his mistress.
- Don Delillo
The studying, the books, exams, arguments, theories. The jokes and pints, laughter, kisses and songs. Life was like running, ninety percent sweat and toil, ten per cent joy.
- Siobhan Dowd
I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't.
- Dylan Thomas
When you have a couple hundred people in one huge space, that's gonna lead to jokes and it's a breeding ground for practical jokes and teasing.
- Erin Duffy
Pain is beyond reason, an obliterating giant stupidity to which all your history of jokes and nuance and ideas and caresses is nothing, simply nothing..
- Glen Duncan
What a hell of a welcome. I'm sorry. But there's so much still to do outside before the weather closes, and we have to tackle all the dreary minuti on weapons and theory where all your knightly warriors start losing their tempers and you have to go through a deadly routine of light relief with competitions and war jokes and community singing, and long, long stories of rape and battle and Generals I have Known.
- Dorothy Dunnett
... she took her husband's jokes and joviality as patiently as everything else, considering that "men would be so", and viewing the stronger sex in the light of animals whom it had pleased Heaven to make naturally troublesome, like bulls and turkey-cocks.
- George Eliot
But marrying within one's own family can get monotonous. One has heard all the same family stories, knows all the jokes and all the same recipes. No novelty.
- Margaret George
A dead man sits on all our judgment seats; and living judges do but search out and repeat his decisions. We read in dead men's books! We laugh a dead men's jokes, and cry at dead men's pathos!
- Nathaniel Hawthorne
In both jokes and dreams, Freud observed, meanings are condensed and displaced, things are represented indirectly or by their opposites, fallacious reasoning trumps logic. Jokes often arise involuntarily, like dreams, and tend to be swiftly forgotten. From these similarities Freud inferred that jokes and dreams share a common origin in the unconscious. Both are essentially means of outwitting our inner censor.
- Jim Holt
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun
I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold.
- Bernhard Langer
Character is character and voice is voice, which translates nicely from writing novels to writing TV. But the process is different. You have a writer's room, people pitch you jokes and you collaborate.
- Jennifer Weiner
I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
- Steve Martin
I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers.
- Armistead Maupin
Families are like countries. They have their own language and jokes and secrets and assumptions about the right and wrong ways of doing things, and some of that always shows in the children, the way something of
Germany or Australia always shows in a German or an Australian, no matter where they go. Outsiders like it or they don't, they feel at home there or they don't. It's like the taste of cilantro.
- Roland Merullo
The difficulty in the way of writing a children's play is that Barrie was born too soon. Many people must have felt the same about Shakespeare. We who came later have no chance. What fun to have been Adam, and to have had the whole world of plots and jokes and stories at one's disposal.
- A A Milne
It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh.
- Malcolm Muggeridge
I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.
- Mike Myers
I felt like a Jane Austen heroine all of a sudden, confusedly looking on at all the people she loves, their myriad unpredictable couplings and uncouplings. There would be no marriages at the end of this Austen novel, though, no happy endings, no endings at all. Just jokes and friendships and romances and delicious declarations of independence.
- Julie Powell
I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
- Don Rickles
What is so often laughable, in the stories of Kundera's Czechoslovakia, is how grimly serious just about everything turns out to be, jokes and games and pleasure included; what's laughable is how terribly little there is to laugh at with any joy.
- Philip Roth
We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that.
- Jennifer Saunders
I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
- Allan Sloan
I'll never forget you. I'll never forget your voice or your face or your dumb jokes. And i'll never forget your love.
- Jeri Smith Ready
My driver Kellie Frost and I would race these fellows home and they were always faster on the highway. We did the same with Daniel and his driver, and thus began a long series of jokes and competitions to alleviate the impossible hours and tensions this film provoked.
- Madeleine Stowe
My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
- Carrot Top
I think it's worth trying to be a mother who delights in who her children are, in their knock-knock jokes and earnest questions. A mother who spends less time obsessing about what will happen, or what has happened, and more time reveling in what is.
- Ayelet Waldman
It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.
- Keenen Ivory Wayans
I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.
- Bob Woodward
'They are good,' he said. 'They play and make jokes and love one another. They are our brothers like the flying fish.
- Ernest Hemingway
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
- Fred Allen
Bathroom, huh? OK.' she tittered nervously. 'I'll carry you. Just don't pee on me.'
Helen laughed gratefully. Aridane was making an embarrassing situation as humorous as possible so Helen would feel more comfortable.
It was something Claire would have done. Helen was still embarrassed, but with a few jokes and little bit of tact they both made it through.
- Josephine Angelini
Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well.
- Will Arnett
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
- Rita Rudner
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
- Lemony Snicket
There have been some very extreme hecklers in audiences whose bile was so hateful and so meant that it would be a bit frightening to think that all I'm doing is jokes and yet someone hates me that much.
- Jo Brand
But I love to drink. I can't help it. I mean, I love it Bryson-love the taste, love that buzz you get when you've had a couple, love the smell and feel of the taverns. I miss dirty jokes and the click of pool balls in the background, and that kind of bluish, under lit glow of a bar at night.
- Bill Bryson
Sorrow comes with so many defense mechanisms. You have your shock, your
denial, your getting wasted, your cracking jokes, and your religion. You also
have the old standby catchallthe blind belief in fate, the whole "things
happening for a reason" drill.
- Emily Giffin
My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies.
- Gilbert K Chesterton
Nobody was perfect. Not even close. And everybody had wrinkles from smiling and squinting and craining their necks. Everybody has marks on their bodies from years of living- a trail of life left on them. Evidence of all the adventures and sleepless nights and practical jokes and heartbreaks that had made them who they are.
- Katherine Center
It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.
- Brian P Cleary
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
- Robert Collier
What's painful is that what you had together, all your inside jokes and favorite restaurants and that movie you both loved but everyone else hatedthat's gone, and there's no replacement for it, you never replicate it, never get to have it ever again...
- Kim Culbertson
When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
- Evan Dando
The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and will die of sexual exertions in the arms of his mistress.
- Don Delillo
The studying, the books, exams, arguments, theories. The jokes and pints, laughter, kisses and songs. Life was like running, ninety percent sweat and toil, ten per cent joy.
- Siobhan Dowd
I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't.
- Dylan Thomas
When you have a couple hundred people in one huge space, that's gonna lead to jokes and it's a breeding ground for practical jokes and teasing.
- Erin Duffy
Pain is beyond reason, an obliterating giant stupidity to which all your history of jokes and nuance and ideas and caresses is nothing, simply nothing..
- Glen Duncan
What a hell of a welcome. I'm sorry. But there's so much still to do outside before the weather closes, and we have to tackle all the dreary minuti on weapons and theory where all your knightly warriors start losing their tempers and you have to go through a deadly routine of light relief with competitions and war jokes and community singing, and long, long stories of rape and battle and Generals I have Known.
- Dorothy Dunnett
... she took her husband's jokes and joviality as patiently as everything else, considering that "men would be so", and viewing the stronger sex in the light of animals whom it had pleased Heaven to make naturally troublesome, like bulls and turkey-cocks.
- George Eliot
But marrying within one's own family can get monotonous. One has heard all the same family stories, knows all the jokes and all the same recipes. No novelty.
- Margaret George
A dead man sits on all our judgment seats; and living judges do but search out and repeat his decisions. We read in dead men's books! We laugh a dead men's jokes, and cry at dead men's pathos!
- Nathaniel Hawthorne
In both jokes and dreams, Freud observed, meanings are condensed and displaced, things are represented indirectly or by their opposites, fallacious reasoning trumps logic. Jokes often arise involuntarily, like dreams, and tend to be swiftly forgotten. From these similarities Freud inferred that jokes and dreams share a common origin in the unconscious. Both are essentially means of outwitting our inner censor.
- Jim Holt
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun
I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold.
- Bernhard Langer
Character is character and voice is voice, which translates nicely from writing novels to writing TV. But the process is different. You have a writer's room, people pitch you jokes and you collaborate.
- Jennifer Weiner
I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
- Steve Martin
I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers.
- Armistead Maupin
Families are like countries. They have their own language and jokes and secrets and assumptions about the right and wrong ways of doing things, and some of that always shows in the children, the way something of
Germany or Australia always shows in a German or an Australian, no matter where they go. Outsiders like it or they don't, they feel at home there or they don't. It's like the taste of cilantro.
- Roland Merullo
The difficulty in the way of writing a children's play is that Barrie was born too soon. Many people must have felt the same about Shakespeare. We who came later have no chance. What fun to have been Adam, and to have had the whole world of plots and jokes and stories at one's disposal.
- A A Milne
It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh.
- Malcolm Muggeridge
I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.
- Mike Myers
I felt like a Jane Austen heroine all of a sudden, confusedly looking on at all the people she loves, their myriad unpredictable couplings and uncouplings. There would be no marriages at the end of this Austen novel, though, no happy endings, no endings at all. Just jokes and friendships and romances and delicious declarations of independence.
- Julie Powell
I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
- Don Rickles
What is so often laughable, in the stories of Kundera's Czechoslovakia, is how grimly serious just about everything turns out to be, jokes and games and pleasure included; what's laughable is how terribly little there is to laugh at with any joy.
- Philip Roth
We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that.
- Jennifer Saunders
I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
- Allan Sloan
I'll never forget you. I'll never forget your voice or your face or your dumb jokes. And i'll never forget your love.
- Jeri Smith Ready
My driver Kellie Frost and I would race these fellows home and they were always faster on the highway. We did the same with Daniel and his driver, and thus began a long series of jokes and competitions to alleviate the impossible hours and tensions this film provoked.
- Madeleine Stowe
My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
- Carrot Top
I think it's worth trying to be a mother who delights in who her children are, in their knock-knock jokes and earnest questions. A mother who spends less time obsessing about what will happen, or what has happened, and more time reveling in what is.
- Ayelet Waldman
It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.
- Keenen Ivory Wayans
I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.
- Bob Woodward
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